Nameless

Chapter 12-Help Me

I’m at home, sitting cross legged on the floor while I paint my toenails. Martin is away at the store buying supper for tonight. Ramen again, probably. 

An abrupt knock on the door surprises me, making me smear the black polish. “Dammit.” I mutter, before hobbling to the door and checking the peephole.

No.

Jason stands there, looking anxious.

I flatten my back against the door. Why is he here? Why now? He should be home with his new baby- not that I’ve been counting the months.

I mean…I’m finally happy. I won’t open the door. He doesn’t know I’m home.

“Arin! I know your home; you’re playing your favorite song!” He calls. Crap. I stare at the iPod across the room, which is blaring out Pierce The Veil’s Hold On Till May.

I take a breath, and open the door. His face is flushed from the warm, summer air, and he has a sense of…want… around him. “What is it?” I ask, a bit too harshly. He recoils a bit. “Um…Can I come in?” He asks. “No.” I step outside and close the door. He reminds me of a child caught out of bed at night.

“Well?” I ask. He gives a shuddering sigh. “Well…The baby isn’t mine. And Melanie admitted this after she had a miscarriage… I wanted nothing to do with her after that. I wanted you. I miss you, Arin…”

“No. No no no no no. I will not allow you back into my life after what you did to me back in Mississippi. I’m done. Please go.” I turned to go and he grabbed my right hand, which was completely healed. I flinched and jerked it away. He looked wounded. “Please, Arin?”

                “I am happy! How dare you come here and think I’ll fall into your arms again? Martin is the one person I have ever loved that hasn’t hurt me in some way! Can I please be happy? Please? That’s all I’m asking. I’ve had so much shit go on in my life, and I want to be happy with the one person who cares enough to stay!” My voice echoes in the cramped, outdoor hallway. I look away as tears spring to my eyes. I catch glimpse of Martin’s car turn into the parking lot. Toenails forgotten, I fly down the stairs and fling myself into his arms as he exits the car.

                I start to cry into his thin, white T-shirt. “Arin, what’s wrong?” He asks. He stiffens. I raise my tear-tracked face as Jason quickly descends the stairs. He pauses at the bottom, regret etched on his face.

He meets my eyes. His jade green jewels beg for forgiveness, for another chance. The eyes I fell in love with so long ago want so much, much more than I can give him. I turn my face back into Martin’s shirt. He strokes my hair as he asks Jason to leave. I stand there for a while with Martin until he says, “Come on, I got you icecream, it’s melting.” I help him carry the groceries upstairs to our nest and put them away.

                He pours me a bowl of cool, soupy icecream. I slurp up the chocolate-y tastyness. “What did Jason want?” Martin asks, sitting beside me with his own bowl. I lower the bowl. “He wanted me… His ex-fiancée lied about the baby being his and then had a miscarriage.” I explain. Martin leans over and wipes a spot of chocolate away with his thumb, and licks his thumb. “Well, he’s too late. You’re mine,” he says, giving me a affectionate, teasing look. “Yes,” I confirm. I smile, a real one, not the ones I give the customers at the bar I work at.

Speaking of work, I have to go soon. I glance at the clock. Six forty-two. Yup, I have about twenty minutes. I finish off the rest of my dessert and get ready. I give Martin a kiss before leaving. I walk to work, feeling better than before.

                At about midnight, I’m the only barmaid left, and I’m kicking out the last liquor-sodden customer. The bouncer says goodnight as I finish wiping down the tables and close up. I call Martin to tell him to start supper when a hand covers my mouth and snaps my phone shut. I thrash wildly and give a muffled scream.

                I fight as I’m being taken towards a dark car, the back doors already open.  A thick, burly man sits at the wheel with a mask on his face, with a slim blonde woman by his side. She wears a black and silver masquerade mask, and a familiar black dress. I’m roughly shoved inside as a rag is placed against my face. “Ah, Arinda, darling. Thank you for joining us.”

My vision goes black.