Jokes, Comebacks, & Pick Up Lines

stupid jokes that surprisingly made me laugh.

Comebacks Are My Second Language

100 Awesome Comebacks for your pleasure :-)

Pick up lines

The Football Player's Roommate

| COMPLETED | Highest Ranks: #1 in Teen Fiction (06/11/17) & #1 General Fiction (07/22/17) | When Amaya receives an acceptance letter to her dream college, she is ecstatic. It has been her dream for as long as she can remember to follow in her father's footsteps of graduating top of her collegiate class. She has bee...

Loving Bad - Loving Bad Series (Sample of Published Book)

The good girl falls for the bad boy. But what if there is more to Sin Carter than a bad attitude, tattoos and piercings? And what if there is more to Taylor Price than the fact she has always followed the rules and done what she was told? Their pasts haunt them. Sin is trying to break free from his dark past while Tay...

Beautifully Broken

Nine chapters of the original First draft. I will provide updates when I can on what will happen next with this story. :) *** Ali Anglesey is the picture of grace, elegance, and poise. She's worked hard to be perfect girl appearance wise, aesthetic wise, friend wise and work wise, but it's all an act. An act she's bee...

Him and Me.

Kayla Johnson has lived a good high school life. She is relatively liked by everyone, and she tries to be nice and civil to everyone in return. Besides with Tyler Simmons, Kayla has never found true friendship though. When a certain green-eyed boy ruffled her feathers the first day he set foot on her school, the ice p...

Fool Me Twice, Shame On Me ✓

"So this was all just a game to you . . .this whole time, you pretended to like me in order to humiliate me in front of the entire school?" An air of melancholia surrounded me, eyes watery like never before. "Were your feelings for me ever real?" There wasn't even a trace of an apologetic expression on his features as...

Chasing Stars - A Midnight Mafia Novel

Completed Book two of the Midnight Mafia Trilogy Katherine Santoro has done the unthinkable. She's fallen in love with the leader of one of the five largest mafia's in the country. Even worse? He loves her too. But when push comes to shove and Alessio's lifestyle becomes a danger to what little family she has left sh...

A Taste of Sin (Sin #1)

She wants to escape it all. She runs from it. She gets a chance to leave it all behind. And she does, without thinking twice. Gabrielle leaves France, her home country, when she finds an offer to babysit in London. She doesn't have a lot of experience with kids, but she's willing to do whatever it takes to just...

Potere | Book II ✓

[BOOK TWO] [Completed] [Voted #1 Best Action Story in the 2018 Fiction Awards] When the Russians dismantle one of the largest and fastest growing Italian Mafia family's in the States, war is declared. To avenge their friend's death, a fallen king, a washed up queen, a struggling couple, and a depressed brother must co...

His Nerd Next Door

One thing, just one little thing Julie had to do to have a... Let's say decent... First day at her new school... Don't. Draw. Attention. First impressions mean everything. Just one little screw up and she knew that she would have to wish her junior year goodbye. So she decided to stick to this one grand rule that woul...

Silently Falling

Highest ranking: #1 in Teen Fiction -- "Sunshine, what guy do you know has a weird fetish with sign language?" She's the aftermath of a high school party nightmare. Tragedy robbed her of her innocence and stole her voice before she had the chance to speak out. The court called her a liar, and the guilty was set free...

Damien

Damien Stryker is a ruthless billionaire, but when Serena Mclane is forced to marry him, she hopes to find the mercy behind his cold eyes and strong hands. ****** Damien Stryker, a domineering billionaire, is someone you don't want to get close to. Unfortunately for Serena Mclane, she doesn't have much of a choice. A...

His Possession In Discretion | ✓ - DISCRETION SERIES BOOK #1

Brielle Newman A 21-year-old girl who was struggling to make life comfortable for herself and her niece, Delilah. Her sister left the baby the minute she could get up and leave the hospital. Brielle hasn't seen her since. She also hasn't seen her parents who walked out on her at 17 or her brother who went to the army...

Omerta- Book I (Winner of the 2015 People's Choice Award)

OMERTÀ BOOK 1 * * * Scarlett moves into her new apartment with the mentality that she will start fresh and rule her own life, but when she overhears a murder next door, her life takes a turn for the worst, and she finds herself on the Italian Mafia's radar. * * * JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP!! https://www.facebo...

Colour Me Red [COMPLETED]

Nick Abel, the tattooed police officer, the heartbreaker and the beast. He took me over and ruined me from day one. "You're mine." He'd growl in to my ear. "Now, show me you want me too." I did want him, Even when he was my father's best friend. ______________ He was void of many emotions. Red for anger Red for p...

Perfect Illusion

Perfect Illusion is the FIRST book in the Perfect series, followed by the soon-to-be released film PERFECT ADDICTION. Published as an ebook/ on kindle ***** When college student Alex Woods agrees to a fake engagement plot to save her paren...

How to Fall in Love ✔

They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on a...

Fight For Her

Fight For Her is now published as a Wattpad Book! As a Wattpad reader, you can access both the Original Edition and Books Edition upon purchase. Scarlet has it all-status, money & a loving quarterback boyfriend. Why then can she not keep her eyes off Elijah, the school's outcast hiding a dangerous secret? ...

Stay Close✔️

COMPLETED "I think you're hiding something," he said accusingly, his voice low and dangerous. "I think you're crazy," I retorted. My heart was beating rapidly. ~ When you lead a life kept to the shadows- metaphorically and physically- it can be hard to make friends. I'm not going to say I was a loser, a compl...

Boot Camp

From Wattpad story to published book to a movie! Watch your favorite coming-of-age camp romance come to life on screen on August 2, 2024! After running away from her problems for four years - her inability to run a mile ironically being one of them - Whitney Carmichael knows a fitness camp will kick start some change...

Sleepwalker

When the quiet girl in Clayton Hugh's chemistry class comes knocking on his door at five in the morning barely covered up in her little pajamas, inattentive, and drooling like crazy, he has no choice but to take her inside. But once Lucy Walker wakes up inside a room she has never seen before wearing an over-sized t-s...

Jason

A narrative of a girl, recalling how she met her best friend Jason and how she's always loved him. But when he tells her he loves her, she remembers how much his friendship means to her. So she lies, an action that she regrets to this day, and wishes she could go back and re-do.

Unholy Matrimony

Tobias and Talia are complete opposites, yet thrown together in an arranged marriage. Can they navigate married life in the wake of a terrible tragedy? ***** After being pressured into an arranged marriage to merge their families' companies, Talia a...

After 3

The passionate story of Tessa and Hardin continues as family secrets, deep betrayals, and career opportunities threaten to tear them apart.

After 2

This is the sequel (continuation) of After. Hardin and Tessa's relationship will be tested in ways she never expected, but he knew of all along.

After

Tessa Young is an 18 year old college student with a simple life, excellent grades, and a sweet boyfriend. She always has things planned out ahead of time, until she meets a rude boy named Hardin, with too many tattoos and piercings who shatters her plans.

FAKE [ Ethan Dolan Fanfic ]

"I want you to be my fake girlfriend." Ethan said. "No" I said and rolled my eyes. "I'm not getting Involved in your stupid boy problems" I said. "I'll do anything please." Ethan begged. I sighed and looked around. "Only for a week."

Falling Into Place

❝Darling, you're a fool to think he feels the same way. ❞ ❆ In which a girl is dared to date a random guy for a month. And then dump him. [extended summary inside] 1 in chicklit 24/5/2016 cover by @devoursheabooks