A human (duh) who exercises far to little, talks far to much, makes up ridiculous names,and in general exists. Said human also apparently enjoys writing profile descriptions in third person as if they aren't the one writing them, clearly they are *very* sneaky. This human also drops unrelated references at random intervals of time, which those who like Hyperbole and a Half will already know. If this person does not post after a long period of time, they are not dead, they are hiding from responsibilities in a blanket fort, disturb them or they will live in the blanket fort until the Andromeda galaxy collides with the Milkyway. This is *clearly* a amazing person.

* * means sarcasm, maybe this person IS very sneaky after all.  ;)