November has fallen on the crown of my head 

That time of year again. I kinda wish I was never born .

I wish , only if I could magically die tonight

Counting petals till I take the last breath

Almost offed myself this morning. I have exam tomorrow.  Can someone please do the first favour for me and cremete and dump the ashes in a pot and grow a plant out of it .

I'm trying to be as cheerful, enthusiastic as I can. 
          I hope I don't worry anyone I talk to.  
          I'd hate to burden them more than necessary.

Called ad , an old friend today.
          
          I've started to sound like a robot he said.
          Lol .
          Heh 
          
          True I guess .
          As long as I stay alive and behave okay, I'm fine with whatever name I get .

Tsk ok Im too dramatic I guess. I'll suck it up no problem

I'm alive. 
          
          If someone had to attempt rape,
          Their biggest blunder,
          Left me alive . Left the fight. Saved themselves first instead of killing me with all it had in it's fist and dick .
          
          Make your problem mine and I'll make mine your bloodline's now . Should I spare the toddlers?   I'll see . 
          
          
          NGL . I wouldn't think much or do much if killed me first Hand.
          But but but. 
          Here I am .
          I do nothing.
          Absolute nothing and get this back from humans.
          I study day and night learning ways to elevate pain and treat fatal diseases and this is what I get .  Humans.  Huh . 
          I wouldn't consider it one .
          Hehehehe .
          The moment it decided it had power over me ,
          A fellow equal human born from a womb of same species as his mother. A fellow human with same blueprint of primary life.   An equal human deserving of same respect. 
          The moment it decided it had any kind of power to execute it's authority over my rightful ownership of my body , it became inhumane to me.    And I treat animals better than inhumane creatures.       I learnt medicine to try to save humans. I can save life , but if I decide otherwise. What then...  if I use what I definitely can to do what I think. Then what.  Monster? Killer? Murderer?   It wouldn't even hurt.  I can assure that.  It'd be no physical pain.

My HOBI's day . Happy birthday my hope . My anchor in an ocean of abyss .