Asfjkshja

My HOBI's day . Happy birthday my hope . My anchor in an ocean of abyss .

Asfjkshja

Lowkey Don't know what am I supposed to do with sorrys I collected from people that I gave forgiveness. 
          It's so heavy can't even feel happy about carrying the transferred weight of sorrow and guilt on me . 
          
          Sure I didn't deserve those treatment. And they are really sorry. 
          They genuinely are
          But what am I to do with them sorrys ..
          I'm no basket
          I'm no jar
          I'm no vessel
          Or am I 
          To store sorrys 
          One to chase ghost of solace
          Reducing Excruciation to mere words spoken
          Mere vibration of vocal cord and neurons dancing in their mind in a rhythm that cuts other until they bleed 
          What am I to do with the dance of words of regret 
          Though they say I did nothing to deserve their regretful deeds 
          What am I

Asfjkshja

@Asfjkshja lol my sibling apologised for crashing out on me a few minutes ago . I forgive. The kid has his reasons. 
            My very close girl apologized for keeping me in radio silence.
            I didn't deserve self loathing self doubt loneliness being lost tearing myself apart , that she knows so she's sorry too . She really is. 
            She has her reasons to leave me for a while too.  She has a life without me too afterall . She'll do just fine without me now I know atleast .
• Balas

Asfjkshja

I dislocated my middle finger today ️️ hehe

Asfjkshja

this message may be offensive 
@Asfjkshja The finger is sore and throbbing in pain. I can hear my heart pumping . 
            My neck is in pain.  Shit
• Balas

Asfjkshja

@Asfjkshja good news - I feel more pain
            Bad news - I feel more pain
            
            
            It's night and the body ache is acting up .
            I took a nasty fall then I guess . 
            
            My left forearm fibula hurts , middle finger has incomprehensible pain . Left of torso is pained , sore af . 
            Left knee feels hypermobile , hip joints are in impossible pain.  
            Goodness I've to make it through the night .
• Balas

Asfjkshja

I can't erase the memory of feelings
          Good or bad
          Euphoric or disgusting
          I have people who need me 
          They need me for going through their day 
          
          But I can't erase the memory of that man
          That priest 
          His hands on Me before I fought him
          It's so disgusting
          It was 2 years ago
          But I still live in the same street 
          I remember that place that time that shock , disgust.
          The clock on my wall hits 0 o'clock after 0 o'clock but the thoughts come back again every new day . It's been 2 years I remember it sometimes. And those times are not nice .
          I want to curl up in a corner and be there forever. 
          existence of my body shouldn't be subject to someone's control of lust . 
          
          I wish I had someone like Mr.Stark .
          He could have gotten him thrown in a prison to rot that too  Under s.h.i.e.l.d .
          
          But that's just comic .
          
          
          And it still wouldn't take away those memories.