Sometimes I feel like I cannot communicate to people what it is like to live with borderline personality disorder (BPD), anxiety, and depression. With BPD, I feel emotions for longer than you might. If you think about how many emotions, you feel throughout an average day- happy, sad, indifferent, joyful, annoyed etc.-it is a lot, right? Well then, let us say that is a few hundred emotions a day. 

The book is about a girl, well me, who was mistreated so much throughout my formative years, whether it be from family, friends, neighbors, and kids from school that it caused severe depression and anxiety. The mental illness became so bad that I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Based on true-life events, my 73,459-word fiction novel is based on real experiences living with a freaking personality disorder, because I do not know how to cope with my emotions. My story is told through the capacity of one night at the circus and this how I cope with the daily mental anguish. Ringmaster and the performers navigate through the book by having specific acts that correlate with how I deal with each situation. Through therapy and hard work, recovery is possible. Working on myself will be the next adventure of my life.