Dude if you need to you can come talk to me. Your situation is awful and I'm sorry you have to deal with that every day. I can't relate to having an abusive family member but I have been bullied by people who I considered my close friends. Now I know that that comparison isn't alike and I'm not saying my situation is similar/worse than yours. But I do know how it feels to be put down time and time again by someone you love and care for. But besides that I also struggle with depression, social anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. I found help by reaching out to people who I trusted and eventually I moved to therapy and anti-depressants. I understand that obviously you can't talk to your parents about it but try a teacher you trust, a school guidance counselor, a friend, or just any trusted adult. It sounds cliche and generic but it works. Internalizing your feelings is only going to make the situation worse. Talking to someone is a great way just to get everything off your chest. But if you can't reach out to someone or just aren't ready writing in a journal is another good way. You don't have to worry about spelling, grammar, or even making full sentences. I personally don't journal but instead I draw. I just draw what I'm feeling. Now of course this isn't going to solve everything. But maybe it will help. But never resort to self harm please. It's addicting and you could get caught up and do it multiple times a day. It's a drug. And speaking from experience it doesn't solve anything. It just makes things worse. Even when times get rough just remember if you die someone is going to miss you. And someone is going to be fücking mad at you. IM going to be mad at you and I don't even know you. There is so much life left to live and there is no reason to give up now. We're always here for you. No matter what.
Much love,
Puppy.
