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Do you get the joke

;       pretty pls 

/   me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me oh and did i mention me

@yamata-no-orochi I’m gonna block u

He did ?   (  for a moment she was taken aback.  a gift was the last thing she expected from him.  anyone could see the way her eyes lit up at the gift,  hesitating for a moment before she crouched to get closer to his level, taking the bouquet gratefully, before she pulled Mac into a hug.  )   This is by far the best gift I’ve ever been given .   Just don’t tell Alex .   Or anyone else .   I’ll put them on my desk when I get home .

@LEADERBORN   Mac seems to like you well enough.    He made this odd little project for you,  said it was for Auntie Farah when she comes to the UK.     I’m not sure if he’ll show it now since he’s a bit shy but   …     It’s quite neat.    Would you like to show Auntie Farah,  hon?      [JOHN COAXS WITH KIND WORDS AND PRAISES.    THE NINE YEAR OLD EVENTUALLY COMES BACK WITH A BOUQUET OF COLORFUL PLASTIC FLOWERS.    HE STANDS AT KARIM’S FEET,  PATIENTLY WAITING FOR HER REACTION.   JOHN WATCHES THE SCENE UNFOLD,  HE GETS CLOSER TO FARAH.   REASSURING HER WITH A KIND KISS IN HER HAIR.]    He worked with it for a little bit,  used a water bottle and everything.  I helped a bit but he said a flower that wouldn’t die on you would always help you remember him on your trips. 

I'm just not the best fit for kids .   (  A little ironic, coming from the woman who had previously told Price she wanted to meet his kids. Giving a gentle smile as she waved back, before dutifully following John to the separate room. She could swear she'd never felt relief like that.  )      I have more luck than you think .

skibidi

you need to get out your room more kid 

big smoochieeee  ^3^

this wasn’t what YOU were expecting. your [OLD FRIEND] alive, breathing,   and working with the enemy? 

@7S2LIVE   should i kiss ‘em to make this lieutenant a bit sweeter?  worked in the past.  [   HE MAKES A DRAMATIC DISPLAY OF HIMSELF,  GROANING AS ILYA PULLS HIM NEAR.   JOHN PINCHES ILYA’S SIDE.    HE PULLS HIS BEST “STERN”  EXPRESSION,  THEN PULLS AWAY FROM ILYA.   MAINTAINING EYE CONTACT.]   i wanted to do something today,  once i’m in your arms i get lazy ‘n feel like doin’ nothing.   so,  we should go hiking.   biking.   hell,  fishing.  a walk.   let’s do something,  bring the dogs.   then afterwards,  you’ll sleep in our bed ‘n i’ll become one with nature.   some sort of tarzan when i sleep outside in the woods because my husband hates me.

years of harsh russian winters, battles i’ve been through, scars with numerous stories ( … ) they don’t craft a soft lieutenant. [HE CAN’T HELP BUT LAUGH AT HOW RIDICULOUS HE SOUNDS, HANDS REACHING OUT TO PULL HIS HUSBAND CLOSE TO HIM.] 

maybe on the floor if i’m feel dramatic,   or should sleep outside on the grass.   @7S2LIVE   lieutenant,  you are so mean to me.   ouch.    

@7S2LIVE    ‘m gonna keep you locked in this bedroom so no one else can lay their eyes on you.      [   JOHN IS JOKING FOR THE MOST PART,   HIS PHONE IS PLACE ON THE TABLE.   HE LEANS FOWARD,  TEETH WOULD CLAMP DOWN ON THE FINGER PRESENTED.   IT’S GENTLE,   NOTHING TOO HARD.   BUT HE LEAVES INDENTS.   ILYA IS A BIG MAN,  BROAD AND IMPOSING.   BUT JOHN LIFTS HIM WITH EASE,  HIS NOSE HIDING AWAY INTO THE CROOK OF ILYA’S NECK.   A KIND ONSLAUGHT OF KISSES ARE PLACED AGAINST HIS TANNED SKIN,  A MOLE ON HIS NECK.   THE SCAR ON HIS CHEEK.    JOHN BITES AT ILYA’S COLLARBONE,  THEN HIS EAR.  ]      let’s get some tea.   ‘m thirsty and you’re too lazy to get out of the sheets.   do i count as a personal heater?  

(Хуй!) do not take a picture of me! [AS HARD AS HE TRIES, ILYA CANNOT FAKE ANNOYANCE FOR LONG, GRING STRETCHING ACROSS HIS FACE AS HE STICKS UP THE MIDDLE FINGER.] you are the worst.

annoying you is so much more important than this silly tv show,   @7S2LIVE  you look just like mac when we give him a bath.   stay still,  say cheeeeeese! 

The contrast of the gold lettering on the book stands out, he memorizes the title and hums in acknowledgment. He’s seen the book a few times, usually in his love’s hands, or forgotten about on the coffee table or kitchen table. Seems to be a favourite of John’s; or at least Ilya assumed it was.
            
            His eyebrows squint at his husband, lips turning into a scowl at the mention of his makeup. It’s all fun and games really, Ilya could never be mad at John, there wasn’t a single bone in his body that allowed it. “My face is fine. Rosie did a very great job at it ( … ) I’m going to let her know that daddy didn’t appreciate the makeup as much as I did. Then, I’ll take your spot as the favourite parent.” Empty threats, never to be done. His eyes crinkle in amusement as a wide smile graces his worn down features. 
            
            With a soft sigh and a lot of contemplating, Ilya really has no choice to get up and wash the makeup off, if he didn’t want to be questioned about the lingering glittery effect on his face after. “I’ll be back love, but don’t think I will forget this conversation.” With that being said, he groans getting out of bed and trudges his way to the bathroom; emerging roughly 10 minutes later, cleaned and changed.

❪ID❫ ⸺   ILYA:      @7S2LIVE      a short hum emerges the captain’s throat,   the book is flipped     &&.     the title embroidered in gold is displayed.     “   the red badge of courage.   “   his attention from the book is taken away now,  the feeling of ilya’s besides him has consumed all of his thoughts.     through the frame of his readers,  cerulean optics memorize the makeup scribbled onto ilya’s face.    a fit of laughter takes him.    how did he not look at him before? 
            
            
            ⤷      jp.         ❛͟ ❛͟      GOD━━ I DIDN’T PAY ATTENTION TILL NOW.     Y’LOOK LIKE THIS AND YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE ANY ORDERS?  THE BED IS BOUND TO GET RUINED WITH YOUR BIG ARSE ON HERE ANYWAYS.      […]      NOW,  CLEAN THAT ARTISTRY OFF ‘N I’LL TELL YOU ABOUT THE BOOK.    NOT SURE WHY SHE OPTED TO DO MAKEUP WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE A PRETTY FACE,  HON.   ❜͟ ❜͟             
            
            john turns into his side to take in the extent of the damage,  he’s humored     &&.     somehow fell in love all over again.   ilya would complain  to no end but he’d let rosie do his makeup till the end of time.   a palm settles on his husband’s nape,  rubbing soft circles against the base of his neck.   

“Hilarious. You are hilarious.” It comes off as hostile, yet, the bright smile and cheap play makeup makes it hard to take him serious. 
            
            “This bed isn’t up to my royal standards, shall I get the queen to force you to remake it so it does?” An empty threat, he won’t get Rosie nor does he make a move for the door. Instead, he sits down on the bed and lays down. A sigh of relief immediately escapes his mouth, weary bones feeling relaxed. Perhaps old age is catching up to him, or maybe it’s just the years of damage sustained from the military (…) the world will never know. “I see you have been have a relaxing evening. Anything interesting in that book you are reading?”

❪ID❫ ⸺   ILYA:      @7S2LIVE      john is bombarded with the unfamiliar sound of chatter,   music    &&.     his children in his lakeside home.       the groceries bags around his fists nearly fall to the ground at the sight.    a party,  in their home?    not clara’s?    hosted by  (well,   probably)    ilya?     unheard of.    it’s enough to have his mind racing.    cerulean hues assess the home twice over,   then they finally settle on his husband.     the captains smile eventually breaks through in full,   an amused chuckle follows after. 
            
            
            ⤷      jp.         ❛͟ ❛͟    MHMM,  IS THAT WHY YOU SENT ME ON ALL THOSE ODD TASKS?   ERANDS THAT DIDN’T NEED TO BE DONE?       […]      I’LL BE DAMNED.   HOW’D Y’ SLIP THIS UNDER MY NOSE?   I WOULD’VE HEARD ABOUT THIS.   ❜͟ ❜͟             
            
            the groceries are eventually discarded on their kitchen table,   a small crowd of familiar faces emerge from the hallway.   sweet sentiments are said,  hugs are given    &&.   it’s all done with a beaming smile.     the kids are glued to their father’s side,  squealing with joy.   their dogs follow closely behind.    then,  there was clara.    a brief moment is shared between them but the moment is over the second price’s gaze catches ilya’s.    
            
            ⤷      jp.         ❛͟ ❛͟    I COULD KISS YOU RIGHT NOW,   I REALLY WOULD.   BUT IM NOT SURE IF I’D STOP ━━     ILYA SVECHNIKOV,   YOU ARE BRILLIANT.      I LOVE YOU,   SO MUCH.    YOU KNOW THAT,   RIGHT?      ❜͟ ❜͟         it’s all genuine,  a chaste kiss is placed on ilya’s cheek.   john’s arm pulls him into his side.   the words are muted,   only enough for the two of them to hear.    their own little secret.