🏳️‍🌈trans_boi_love❤️

Me: *panics and makes new account*

My little brother's friend gave himself a manbun and I died laughing on the floor cuz he looked like Kamski from DBH

I have officially decided that I want to move in with my dad in Florida. Now, I have to break the news to my mom. 

I wanna move in with my dad in Florida. I'm going to tell my mom at our next therepy appointment. 

My dysphoria: don't talk to anyone.
          
          Me: but.....
          
          My dysphoria: your voice is feminine.
          
          Me: oh yeah.... *shuts up and stops talking*
          
          My dysphoria: sit around and do nothing. I guess you can draw, but no contacting other people. Be alone.
          
          Me:... Oh.... Okay.....
          
          My dysphoria: you a freak.
          
          Me, drawing fanart: yeah, I realized this a while ago...
          
          My dysphoria: you won't be dysphoric enough to start Testosterone. You'll never succeed.
          
          Me: you're really making me wanna pop outa existence. I need to text my girlfriend, she's probably worried.
          
          My dysphoria: that's my job. You never gonna get rid of me. I don't want you to text or talk to anyone, so you ain't going to. 
          
          Me: mmmmmf. *sits in my room, lights off,listening to music, and drawing*
          
          My dysphoria: no posting about your dysphoria, people will think you're looking for attention.
          
          Me: I'm doing it anyway, you don't freaking control me.
          
          My dysphoria:... Surrrrrre. You keep thinking that.... *smirks and kicks back in a lawn chair with a glass of orange juice* I'm just gonna stick around and watch you have mental breakdowns because of me. 

I am scarily honest in my dreams. Like, in basically honest to myself in dream to the point where it's like "This is how it is. A lotta people will hate you if they know, but ya know...thats that. You should tell this person about it. They may hate you tho. Whatever they should know. They'll leave you. That sucks. No one cares."
          
          
          On a different note. Imma draw my worst fear. 

I had a dream that made me realize something about myself, and now I'm scared of myself and everybody's opinions. Nobody shall ever know. I'm just gonna *shuts mouth and slaps flex tape over it*

I'm writing a book on how I found out I was trans gender, so I might post it here, for any confused or curious others. It'll go over how I found out and specific stories from my life that happened, concerning my trans journey. My journey is far from being over, but my therapist thought it would be cool if I write a book about my journey. 

"Fine, I'm coming with you," Cyrus interrupted.
          
          There ya go :3

My therapist: so whats been going on lately?
          
          What I wish I would say: oh, the usual self hatred, constant mental pain and acting okay around everyone.
          
          What I actually say: nothin much...