Well this needs one hell of an update, considering it was five years old and the version of me then clearly had a lot more life and "jokes". 

I am now a masters graduate, a diving professional - yet my forte has always been English. I've always not-so-secretly wanted to be an author; sadly due to a laziness so profound it's akin to a terminal disease, this is the only place I'll probably ever see other people read my 'books'. So play nice - I'm below amateur level at this, but passion is as passion does: burn.