Dr. ShadowHallows

I had checked a little bit of your story and from what I can see you are trying to do a 3rd person POV. While that is great it is also much harder. If you want to really get a feel of Teresa's character I recommend trying 1st person that way you can present stronger emotions. Though you don't have to do first person but if don't be careful when you use she as it can be repetitive along the story. Other then that there are quite a few easy grammatical errors. Such as capitals (I or Teresa), PUNCTUATION (can't seem to find any ;/./,/!/?/')  quotation mark use, paragraph splitting, and pass tense or present tense, apostrophes, extra words, and some sentences don't quite make sense. There are points in time where I am confused about weather you're telling the story or if it's actually happening. If you want to go a step further next time you write a sentence or use common words (good, bad, big) try looking for more stronger descriptive words to enhance not only your vocabulary but the story's as well and sentence beginning are very important as well. Try not to use the same word at the beginning of every sentence and instead opt to use verbs of just not I or she really. Other than that I think you have a great story and don't be offended by my comments as I will assure you this is constructive feedback not insulting. I hope this will help you build a stronger story!