💞Simp💞

I got a migraine & stomachache playing video games with my friends because they're terrifying and way better than me 

Dear people who keep insisting God is a man,
          God CREATED the first man
          God also created the first woman
          So God is neither
          God is above gender
          Which brings me to my next point: God is built like a Ken doll

POV: It's your 17th birthday and instead of filling with existential dread like you normally would, you make a Spotify playlist you're not going to listen to after today because it's horrible and even the day of you skip through half of it.
          
          Anyways I'm 17 now.
          Yikes.

*Vibes in Spotify character playlists*

My bio makes me look like 10 ;w;
          My favorite things are a robot pantomime group, a Disney cartoon, the SpongeBob musical, and a song called peach scones
          As they should be, but dang

*Yells at witches to take away my gender so I can murder*

I'm lazy, but I wanna build my arm strength to carry my future girlfriend everywhere
          Also I like my arms now 

*Blasts the Muppets version of Bohemian Rhapsody (Which I lovingly call Bohemian Mupsody) in order to cope with stress*

*violently yells at teacher in John Mulaney references while muted*

I'm done with this world, they ruined bubble wrap!!