Original member of the COC!

I had my heart surgically removed (fucking torn out by several heartless motherfuckers (called authors), who laughed at my pain) last year.

^ Edge. So much edge. Careful.

"The wolves can fall into the trap just as easily as the sheep."

I'm British. Not majorly British, but British. 
That's my way of saying not all Brits are the same and I don't like tea.

Me - *not that British.*
My family: (I kid you not) *literally having a conversation about the difference between British and American tea.*

And the funny thing is, you probably think I'm joking about the family part. I'm not. I just came from a family dinner and tea was literally a topic.

So apparently, American tea is actually a lot weaker and has less flavour? According to my grandparents, anyway.

Me when reading books with those damn plot twists and cliffhangers-
My hot chocolate - fucking s p i l t 
My wig - s n a t c h e d
My life - w a s t e d
My back - b r o k e n
My neck - s n a p p e d

The Holy Water doesn't work anymore. 

*Calls Satan*
Yeah, so, I'd like to book my place in hell in advance.
I'm gonna need a very hot pit. Hotter than most. I'm quite the sinner.

Thanks, Satan. I'll see you when I get there.

*Ends call*

...Oh shit, hi there! Whoever the fuck you are! You heard nothing. That is, unless you wanna join me? We might be able to be neighbours for the rest of our hell-damned eternity! Unless you're going somewhere else. In which case, g o o d b y e.

Mostly inactive.