"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like." 
― Lemony Snicket

"When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them." 
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

"If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats." 
― Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window

"If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf." 
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish