LizzySilver2323

How do I know if I’m being a little dramatic bitch or if everything that happens is actually bad? 
          I mean, doesn’t change my fate, O was just wondering 

I think
          I mean, this time I’m almost entirely sure
          I think I’m not gonna survive this 
          I feel it, I can almost see it… I just don’t want it not to work again, because God knows how awful it was the other times…

Nothing
          And I mean NOTHING 
          Upsets me more than when I’m talking about something I’m going through or something I’m feeling
          And my bsf says that he’s feeling the same, and proceeds to say how awful it is (and Keeps imitating me, creating problems in his life)
          Just to say he’s got it worse
          ITS NOT A COMPETITION 
          I just wanted to tell someone how weird I’m feeling recently
          Then this guys was like “oh yeah, I feel the same”
          And proceeds to say something that’s the opposite of what I’m feeling, and when I explain he says “oh yeah, that”
          BITCH
          Now he’s like: “oh yeah, same. I can’t control my body, I can only move my arm, I’m trying to get up but I can’t”
          Because I said that I feel like there are people controlling me.
          Like, I feel like there are people who sometimes “control” me and I can only watch.
          Literally completely different personalities, tastes and everything.
          …Crazy shit.
          AND THIS BOY JUST TRIES TO COPY ME 
          Gets on my nerves fr 

What if I kms?
          Everything is suddenly going downhill, and fuck I don’t know what to do anymore, I can barely hold on.
          I don’t have the energy to do anything, and I find myself planning on how I’ll kms, and honestly? I think it might work this time.
          I know how much I have to take, I know how much blood I gotta loose.
          It’s so hard to keep going.
          I really can’t anymore…
          I’m kinda scared, because I don’t want to hurt the people I love, and as a medium and from Umbanda (Afro-Brazilian religion) I know how this will end up, and it’s not gonna be heaven of hell, it’s going to be worse.
          And yet, I feel like whatever would be 10x better.
          I honestly can’t take it anymore, I don’t know for how much longer I’ll be able to hold on…
          I’m so tired, and it hurts so much…

Guess who just bought green brownies and it’s about to get high as a kite? Heh

I’m so fucking tired of being excited by something, and showing it to my friends just for them to ignore me and talk about themselves…
          Like, not that I don’t wanna hear it.
          But I was so excited about how I was talking perfect Japanese although I never studied it and this… Blessing literally listened to my audio, IGNORED IT, and proceeded to talk about the picture he took of himself…
          Like, that’s great, it’s a great picture, but can’t I have a moment too?

Okay
          So, for anyone ou there who wants to know, the reason of my colapse was banana fish.
          Thank you all, sa-yo-na-ra. 

Okay
          Literally-
          So, I’m probably autistic, right? But my parents don’t accept it c they’re always like: “ur just pretending, there’s no way” and bla bla bla, but my therapist AND my psychiatrist said it, along with some of my autistic friends, right? 
          But I’m always like “nah, my parents are right, I just want attention” 
          And then I get BONKED in the head, because apparently, all my personality traits are autistic tendencies (dor e sofrimento ksks)
          And I liked watching a video, and they talked about how they would trace words on their thighs or arms, and IT JUST UNLOCKED A MEMORY????
          Like, I used to have a imaginary keyboard with me ALL THE TIME in which I would write everything I didn’t feel comfortable on speaking…
          Like ???????
          Bitch? TF?????
          And I had to stop, because my parents would yell at me for being weird and wanting attention, but like?????
          AND I STILL DOUBD IT?

Okay
          First things first, I have recently (now) realized how I ALWAYS start this with “okay” and I thought it was funny.
          BUT BACK TO TRACK (why are u yelling? )
          I need a friend (No shit, Sherlock) who’s awake at absurd hours (or not, I just really want someone lmao) and I can talk to, cause although I’m Brazilian, half of my life is in English, and none of my friends speak the language, so I can never share thoughts or memes, or whatevers, and that SUCKS.
          Soooo, does anyone wanna apply to the job?
          WARNINGS:
          - I’m mentally ill, but at least I’m funny (I’d like to think so)
          - I have ADHD and possibly Autism too
          - I am as crazy as they come
          - You’ll have to hear all about my hyper fixiations…
          Aaand there’s prolly more, but I’m fun to talk to, I guess

Okay 
          So, I have like… 87 stories on my drafts lmao, and none of them are finished, so… Do u guys think it’d be a cool idea to write a one-shot book? 
          Some of them have some TWs tho, cause writing is a way of venting, for me… But yeah, what do u guys think?