I do not know if you'll see this message, but it's 'Tai'. I don't really go by that name anymore. I first, would like to explain why I'm messaging you randomly in the first place. To put it straight, I nearly died about 2 weeks ago. That isn't any of my old dumb exaggerations. I got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes :p. Had a hypo. That's not the focus though.
I thought. I've been doing alot of that. It made me think about what I regret. And one of the main things is you. I realised genuinely that I used my mental health as a scapegoat to basically treat you like genuine dirt. There is no excusing *anything* that I did. The diagnosis has helped me in a weird way, with being a better person. I am far from who I was a few years ago.
I came to the epiphany that, I hurt you more than anyone could. I think I've learnt to not be a victim. Yes I've had a bad life but, sitting around and crying about it isn't going to do anything. I am not that person. I was a child. I live alone now and I'm at a pretty good university. I feel like after all this time, I'm finally mature enough to address something I am grossly ashamed of.
If there's anyone I want in this world to be okay, it's you. That comes from a place of adoration. Because you did your best for me during a dark dark time in my life. And I took it for granted.
I would like to explain myself further, but it is on your word. I hope by some miracle you may read this. It's unlikely. I cannot leave this world without knowing that you know I have repented.
You do not at all have to respond to me. I just want you to know about this. If that is the case, this is the last you shall hear from me. God bless.
