Okay, I know you said you wanted this to be brutal, but overall, I found nothing wrong with your story. I was taking notes and the only thing on my paper were good things so thumbs up! Here's what I liked about it:
- The details, so many marvelous details!
- A good, flowing pace.
- Description of character, show don't tell.
- It's an even mixture between your version and the original Alice in Wonderland
- Her teacher is so vile! I love how you express her mean behavior! GRR!
- The spelling was pretty flawless.
- The grammar was perfect!
I told you, overall your story was great. I was pretty happy that you wanted it x2 Brutal but then your story was so perfect, I was mad that I could pound you. :(
But seriously, good job! Keep it up! :)