To all my sadly neglected readers,
When I started writing Mercenary, I wasn't trying to write something grand or important or something that would matter to anyone, ever. I just wanted to write something for me. It was something that I wanted to experience, nothing more, nothing less. And then people were reading, it all came crashing down on me:
No matter what I do, someone is going to care. Someone is going to look at that and expect more, or expect something better...expect anything really. Expectations are rampant in this world. They are hard to control, and they are very difficult to live up to.
It is for this reason that I am pausing Mercenary until further notice. Not because I do not want to write it, or because I hate the story. On the contrary, several times I have opened up my Word document for Mercenary with a desire to write, and found that I have suddenly become an imbecile, incapable of writing. I am pausing Mercenary because it is something grand and wonderful and I am not. I am not grand, I am not special, I am not wonderful. I am just a person, and at the moment I am unable to live up to the expectations of something like Mercenary.
In this moment I would like to share the illogical nature of my username. I am not mysterious. I am not a renegade. I am just a teenage girl. I am just a random nobody who believes that sometimes life comes crashing down on you, and when that happens, the only thing you can do is focus on finding a way on getting up again. Right now that's what I'm trying to do. I need to find a way to get back on my feet, and until that happens, I cannot concentrate on Wattpad or Mercenary.
Thank you, though, to those of you who read what I wrote. I know there were not many of you, but it means more to me than I can say that you are out there.
Goodbye, for now.
~MysteriousRenegade