Please no more belts; the word is v triggering for me and gives me PTSD. If you must refer to a belt, please call it 'Long Cow stringer-stinger420' as that if far more safe for my internal rage.
I live in your mum's house, under her bed. We play Uno every Tuesday! You're mum is hot. Would smash. 10/10, would skidaddle.
Also, please don't use the word dad; I may not have had a dad growing up as I was raised by a good lesbian dog couple but it still triggers me.
Thank you for your patience, smash ya' later.

ps: Just turned 99! Please help celebrate!
ps2: I have leftover hotdogs in the fridge if you're hungry. Don't panic, their not my dog mum's meat, just some old homeless guy that kept asking me to stop stabbing him. He was rude. It made me sad. Then he said 'Don't' but I heard the 'D' and thought of the word dad so I kille dhim.