Pew

I'm starting to remember a but about my childhood growing up with a past step mom her name was Jackie (Abusive Bitch.), and i remember one particular memory. I was really fucking hungry like in pain hungry to the point i couldnt sleep. The house i lived in, my room was right across my the front entry and like a hallway went to the left that led to a pantry and the kitchen, i went to the pantry. All we fucking had was uncooked rice i sat there munching on uncooked rice and i heard Jackie say something about "I think i hear someone Samantha go check (Older step sister but now i consider my actual sister)" she went to check saw me and went back saying no one was there. I'm in a much better house i never have to go to bed in pain anymore luckily but that household REALLY fucked me up lol what a lovely experience.

Also i have to thank a lot of people for talking me through my bullshit back when i was really down, my therapist helped me with coping mechanisms, im now what a year and some clean? I kinda stopped keeping count but ive been doing a lot better my BPD is still bad but i havent had a thought about killing myself in a long while, im happy that even when i tried it didnt work. Im happy i got to meet my other siblings and will soon get to meet my nephew and niece and maybe my other nephew as well, my brother us back in my life and we are on pretty good terms and not beating the shit out of eachother on Christmas anymore, i know i know i vanish for a good few months then just reapear posting a shut ton of announcments i just really wanted to thank those people who stood by my side when i was ranting about random shit gotta give it to them they stayed when i was being an annoying little shit hope yall are doing good!

Im re-reading my old posts on here and holy shit what was i on??? Attention seeker alert- shit nevermind thats me from like 2 or 3 years ago... but damn was i fucked up jesus (no offense to Christians on here) i really needed to get whacked upside the head hard. Like Damn. Been laughing at these for like 30 minutes now.
          
          Anyways im struggling between two schools lately one called Alberta University of Arts or a college (would name it but im in bed its 5 in the morning and the booklet is on my couch... in the living room. im too lazy to get up and look), i cant decide because the university is purely based on art right? Main focus, but the college is a mix of everything so if i decide one major isnt my thing i wouldnt have to just jump to another school i could just... switch majors and not waste 10,000 dollars. This is a struggle why did no one TELL ME IT WOULD BE THIS STRESSFUL. Yeah this just isnt fun... anyways i got to clean the kitchen cook enough Christmas Crack for monday and tuesday plus clean the kitchen and put DJ gear away before noon... oh and start laundry and clean my room all before noon thats what six hours? Plenty of time for a procrastinater like me! Have a goodnight, day or afternoon everyone (Past me is such a fucking loser, I do not miss who i was.) 

Okay what the fuck was the Uglies movie??? I waited so long for this movie and it fucking sucks. Liek seriously??? Half of what happened didnt even happen in the books! This is utter bullshit.

I've returned from the abyss again! I've been super busy finishing up my novel, i just have to finish some editing and then im going to see if i can get it published! Sorry i havent been here in like 5 months... With school, work, and family drama its been hard and its not going to get any easier considering I'll be in grade 11 next year and due to me tragically failing my science class... To be fair i slept through most of it- anywayssss moving on! I do have to do both dash one science and dash two science next year, get from dash three to at least dash two in math for the college i want to go to so i have a lot to do in the next two years! My schedule is consistently changing so i wont have much time to update as i did like two three years ago. I really hope i can be more active but thats a pretty far fetched dream right now. Well u hope you have a good Morning, Afternoon or Night! 
          
          Peace out
          -Phoenix/Officialpeople_hater!They!

....so im not dead yall! just planning my own book, i might post snippets on here or full chapters if yall want but yeahh! i dont really know how long im gonna be back on wattpad for but i will reappear every few months. so good morning, good afternoon and goodnight.

Turns no i wasnt returning to wattpad and i lied oop-

Hey y'all! I have gone to complete radio silence for like 2 or 3 months- I uh didnt mean to do that it just kinda happened? Also i will be editing and rewriting a lot of my work. I am also doing so much better than before the time i took for myself has given me the chance to reflect on myself and heal from the trauma of my past, so I am returning to Wattpad!

Me: I am going to fix my sleep schedule! Im going to do better! Its a while new me!
          
          Also me: im going to bed.... After this video!
          
          *light shines through my window*  oh shi-

I think i might have to delete my tt account... A classmate of mine who is very homophobic i think? I dont know for sure found it and commented on a video and now she can see every i post so im scared shes gonna be mean when school starts again T_T 
          
          So i might just either delete the entire account or the vids
          
          I hope she aint gonna be mean