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My brother's a little shit (who's 6'1 but whatever)
I asked him for a scrunchie, because he hoards all of them! He said, and I quote,
"I'll get you one when I come out." As he went to go take a shower.
Then, when he got out of the shower, I asked him for a scrunchie, and do you know what he said?
"I said, I'll get you one when I come out." Dramatic pause, "But I have not come out, because I'm not gay."
Now I don't have a scrunchie to put my hair up with, thanks big bro, what a great sibling you are.