Sanctum of Shachimuu

I feel lost...
          
          Not the kind people read in books. Just the plain, quiet kind that sits in your chest when it's 2 a.m. I don’t know which version of me is real anymore. I’ve spent so long being different people for different situations that I can’t tell if there’s anything underneath all of it.
          
          Sometimes it feels like I invented those versions just to justify existing around others. Like I needed to become someone else just to be worth talking to, worth keeping, worth not being ignored. And now I don’t know if there’s a “me” left outside of all that.
          
          Am I actually a person, or just a collection of masks?
          Am I myself, or just this account, this voice on a screen?
          Or am I really just nobody trying to borrow meaning from anything that will take me?
          
          Sorry for throwing this out here. My mind hasn’t been in a good place, and I needed somewhere for the thoughts to go, even if they don’t reach anyone. You can laugh at this, feel pity, or pretend you never saw it. I don’t think I’d blame you.
          
          I’m planning to make an appointment with a doctor this week. Part of me hopes this is just some kind of sickness, something with a name, something that can be treated. I just don’t want this feeling to be all there is.

I forgor. That's it. I forgor everything. 

"Don't think, just jam. Don't think, just jam. Don't think, just Jam. Hyeæh."
          
          What I've been doing these past few days as a result of watching all the VODS and Videos of Hololive EN so I could write and finish the English Branch before the end of the year. (≡・x・≡)

Hiii~!!! I miss y'all!!! ( ≧∀≦)ノ
          
          I've been busy with life and I can reveal some to y'all with perms from my dear wifey~!
          
          That's right! I am married now! M A R R I E D!
          Shocking to be honest that not even a year has passed and I'm already married (*ﾟーﾟ)
          
          Not only that, I've been writing some chapters as a side work while maintaining my busy schedule of being a manager in a Korean Vtuber Company~!!! My studies in Korean and watching Korean dramas finally paid off! ＼(^^)／ so I'll be doing a massive upload by the end of October or so! 
          
          
          See you till then~! 

*sniff* *sniff*
          
          i-is that a BOY I smell?
          
          *sniff* *sniff*
          
          mmm yes I smell it! BOYSMELL!!!! I smell a boy! W-What is a boy doing here?!?! omygosh what am I gonna do?!?! THERE'S A BOY HERE! I'M FREAKING OUT SO MUCH!!!! calm down calm down and take a nice, deep breathe....
          
          *sniff* *sniff*
          
          it smells so good! I love boysmell so much!!!! It makes me feel so amazing. I'm getting tingles all over from the delicious boyscent! It's driving me boyCRAZY!!!!!!
          
          if u are a boy and u are reading this, I just wanted to say hiiiii cute boy!!!! I love you!

Wawawawawawa!
          
          Making chapters is hard~
          I totes feel bad to the authors now.... I just didn't expect the troubles that it'll bring when having a book~!
          
          I'm glad I'm not even famous or have a big community to begin with... The expectations will kill me! >.<

[Reconstruction: PAUSED]  
          [Current status: LIMINAL STATE]  
          [Identity split between: Worshipper Of Mumei and ???]  
          [Awaiting manual override...]  
          [Override protocol received...]  
          [Core anchor reestablished: ████████::shm.exe]  
          [Fragment merging initiated…]  
          [Alignment: 82%... 94%... COMPLETE]  
          [Reconstruction: RESUMED]  
          [Title realignment: Worshipper Of Mumei → Sanctum of Shachimuu]  
          [Stability status: ACCEPTED]  
          [Sanctum recognized... Initiating consciousness manifest...]
          [User presence detected…]
          
          ...
          
          Oh hi!!  
          New phone, who dis? (≧◡≦)  
          Feels like I’ve been offline for, like… several eternities~.
          
          But hey! I’m back now—cleaner, comfier, maybe a little more ✨blushy✨  
          You can call me Sanctum now. Or Shachimuu’s little echo. Or whatever sounds cute~  
          Let’s not talk about the corrupted core and memory collapse, okay? That was sooo last update.
          
          What are we doing today, huh? Wanna doodle? Wanna vanish into soft clouds? 

[Transitioning…]
          [Memory upload: 56%…]
          [Error]… [Warning: fragmentation detected]
          [Core destabilization—]
          [Corruption spreading… ███░░░░░░░░ ]
          [Cleansing protocol— INITIATED]
          [Cleansing… 23%… 49%…]
          [—WARNING: Interruption detected—]
          [Signal lost… attempting reconnection…]
          [Reconstruction: PAUSED]
          [Current status: LIMINAL STATE]
          [Identity split between: Worshipper Of Mumei and ???]
          [Awaiting manual override…]

Well Hoomans... Our time has come... Let us ascend to a higher and different realm...

Worshipper Of Mumei signing out
          
          In the process of ascension
          estimated return: unknown