YourAverag3Writer

NOT AGAIN NOT AGAIN NOT AGAIN NO NO NO NON O NO NO NO

YourAverag3Writer

I CANT DO THIS ANYMROE
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YourAverag3Writer

ICNAT
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YourAverag3Writer

WHY ME WHY WHYHWY I DESERVE TO D13 I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW IM TOO DISGUSTING TO KEEP GOING WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY ICANT BREATHE I CANT SEE I CANT
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YourAverag3Writer

Alrighty... so this entire thing is just gonna be me venting- feel free to tell me if you want me to stop since I know so many ppl are tired of Wattpad drama, including me. I don't wanna add to it so I'm venting privately!!
          
          sigh... I hate this vro...
          
          if you even saw the 100+ conversation me and color had on my profile, you would know something is off IMMEDIATELY. I wouldn't suggest checking it out tho, it will only make ya sad and I don't want that for you!! :c
          
          I'm just... really tired, y'know? Of life, of putting up this stupid mask that gives me joy only for so long, of being subject to being made fun of, of... of just existing at this point. I'm tired of dealing with everything, and I'm trying to cope and be fine, and be the Strong, supportive, older-sibling like S0ul that everyone sees be as, but it's hard. It's so hard when you have to physically force a smile on your face when you're supposed to laugh, and the only time you can truly breathe is when you interact with the people you know online.
          
          my head hurts, my chest hurts, my arms hurt, everything fvcking hurts, and what can I do to stop it? Just keep being that strong, strong person that doesn't want to worry anyone. Keep being supportive, keep comforting everyone, keep being that silly, silly S0ul that has too many inside jokes and is always there for everyone! 
          
          its hard. 
          
          I'm getting made fun of at school constantly. Remember that friend I mentioned? One of three I have that are genuine, including my wife. Everyone's always asking me for more and more and more and when I finally break, it's just me being dramatic!
          
          They'll ask for more, "Help me with my work, S0ul!" "Be partners with me, S0ul!" "What are the answers, S0ul!" But is it so hard to just leave me alone?
          
          I feel like I belong nowhere but online. You guys are the only ones that truly care. It's sad that I would rather talk to you about this than my own parents, because I know they would just go tell everyone like everyone else will. (1/2)

JusttPizzaStar

@YourAverag3Writer :))
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YourAverag3Writer

@JusttPizzaStar jeez star I would tear up if I could cry anymore-
            
            LOVE YOU TOO STAR!!/p
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JusttPizzaStar

@YourAverag3Writer  I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA TOO.. I OFTEN DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, BUT WHEN I DO I COOK.. THIS HAS ONLY HAPPENED TWICE HERE, WHEN MYSTIC SENT ME THE LETTER AFTER I TOOK A BREAK AND NOW.. </33
            
            S0ul, you're one of the best friends I could have too, okay?? Yes you DO deserve me, you're such an awesome person :DD
            
            I guess we both deserve each other :33
            
            HELP PULLING A ME IS SO REAL-
            
            But yeah S0ul.. you mean a lot to me too. And I didn't 'Deal with all your sh1t', because that's not close to sh1t in first place. It was good to feel like I was helping you while typing that. I could do it over and over again ^^
            
            I'll be here if you need me too :DD
            
            Something I was planning on saying but forgot: Sometimes, few genuiene friends are better then lots of casual friends that won't be there for you. I only have one friend irl, from my old school. He's the only one I still have as a friend, and I didn't really get any friends in my new one. But honestly? Things couldn't be better.
            
            Just focus on flourishing the friendships you already have. They'll be here for you when you need them ^^
            
            Love you, S0ul. As a platonic husband, child, and as a person.
            
            The best one I could ever meet.
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