The author has been described as a boneheaded moron with less neural matter between his ears than a malnourished ocelot. This might have hampered the literary careers of manlier men with manlier names like Chuck Sambuchino, Pahlahniuk, or even Chuck Dickens, but the high quality of his boneheaded behavior helps the author write about clueless people in dangerous situations. He simply transcribes last Thursday and what happens when you chase a raccoon with a wushu spear, or wrestle a cat.

The author grew up on a farm in southern Ohio, which is a bit like growing up on a farm in southern anywhere. Instead of jumping cars over deer or stalking creeks through the woods, he read books and watched Battlestar Galactica and The A-Team. This doomed the author to follow the path of Creative Writing at University. Afterwards, he taught English in China and Germany, received a Master’s of Teaching English to Foreigners, and moved to California where he was told only qualified applicants with proper qualifications were allowed to qualify for a position as a qualified firefighter. 

Now, armed with as much common sense as an unexploded bomb under a cabbage field in Lower Saxony, he drives a 911 ambulance in California and holds on to the vain hope that someday he will be replaced by a robot.

Hobbies:
Listening to the beach
Walking on Phil Collins

Favorite Books:
I’m Alan Partridge
Star Trek #23 - Ishmael (Spock goes back in time to the Gold Rush and you’ve stopped reading this already)
Bart Simpson’s Guide to Life: A Wee Handbook for the Perplexed

Best Movie I Have Been Allowed to Stay Up and Watch:
Jessie Season Two

Favorite Documentary: 
Dumb & Dumber

What I’m Doing Now:
Nothing what are you doing