schoolworks suck

People have always said to me that I was kind, I was pretty, I was smart. A part of me doesn't believe any of that shit at all, but weI like to think I am. I like to gaslight myself that I can be kind to everyone, including the people who did me wrong. I try to be everything they perceive that I am, but I am not that person. My closest friends have said that I was such a people-pleaser, damn right I am. And I very much hate myself for that. It's so funny that I would always promote positivity and happiness in life to the people around me, but I cannot do the same to myself. The irony, right? I don't want to pretend but I want to fit in. I don't want to say yes but I don't want them to think I'm unkind. I don't want them to think I'm all of that, but I'm so afraid that they're going to think awful of me because I am not what they think.

@Markhyucklover0099 hello! I've already accepted your dm on IG:)

@Markhyucklover0099 it's ellerze.zelle! I'm sorry for the late replies, school starts the day after tomorrow so I've been so busy

@Markhyucklover0099 fr, I'm not even sure if  they're tripping or not, but based from the girl, I do think she has the capability to do that shit lol. Minors should honestly be illegal to have a relationship lol. And sure! Just drop your IG account so I can dm you:)

@Markhyucklover0099 but yeah, I'm still vet nervous, so far there's been no updates about what building I am going in and I'm just hoping for the best haha

@Markhyucklover0099 hopefully I can pull this off without fucking it up lol. A week before school is agonizing. There's rumors rising that someone in my grade got pregnant wtf (a friend's friend suddenly blurted it out in one of their group chats and now it's spreading like wildfire) dgaf about that girl though, they say she bagged a 21 y.o old man, never had a clean record at the guidance council is supposed to be expelled already but the teachers thinks she still has hope (other people think her parents are paying them though), AND I SWEAR TO GOD I AM NOT EXAGGERATING 'CAUSE SHIT IS SO DIFFERENT HERE AND I'VE ONLY BEEN HERE FOR A YEAR LMAO

@Markhyucklover0099 WOAH WHAT THAT'S SO COOL, you're so smart wtf

@Markhyucklover0099 quite nervous tbh, the sections keep on shuffling and I've just transferred here from another city last school year, so I only know a few people. How about you? How are you holding up with the work

@Markhyucklover0099 I'm really sorry, yes I've actually been very busy preparing for school with my family. School starts next week here lol! Our schedules are very complicated and we don't even know what rooms we'll be assigned to, so it's been very hectic!

@Markhyucklover0099 we actually still have 11th and 12th grade so I won't be going into college yet very soon, but I'm thinking of talking medicine! Either med tech or a nursing:)