schoolworks suck

People have always said to me that I was kind, I was pretty, I was smart. A part of me doesn't believe any of that shit at all, but weI like to think I am. I like to gaslight myself that I can be kind to everyone, including the people who did me wrong. I try to be everything they perceive that I am, but I am not that person. My closest friends have said that I was such a people-pleaser, damn right I am. And I very much hate myself for that. It's so funny that I would always promote positivity and happiness in life to the people around me, but I cannot do the same to myself. The irony, right? I don't want to pretend but I want to fit in. I don't want to say yes but I don't want them to think I'm unkind. I don't want them to think I'm all of that, but I'm so afraid that they're going to think awful of me because I am not what they think.

You 2010 born?

School already ended and I still hate my Filipino teacher<3

I'm so tired of sasaengs' bullshit oh my God. LIKE WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THAT SHIT????

I could write a fanfiction of my life in two years ngl, this shit's a whole sitcom

I FUCKING HATE THEM ALL

I've also been kind of reflecting and rethinking about my shitty (not really) life decisions. Especially with my first break-up (yes, believe me or not I had my first real, and proper relationship like 8 months ago and I still can't get over it because I'm a dumb bitch). I'm so fucking miserable and I can't even tell my friends about it nor speak a word about him bc they hate him more than I do especially my other best friend (who's now dating him) lmfao, anyway. WHO'S GOING TO THE DREAM SHOW MANILA ON AUGUST???? FUCKING ME

Just watched Gemini Norawit's KND interview and GODDAMN IT WHY DID IT HAVE TO END. HIS VOICE IS SO FUCKING GOOD I COULD LISTEN TO IT ALL DAY. But shit aside, his way of conveying himself and how authentic and transparent he is of himself on-camera is admirable. One thing he said that really struck to me was "Caring is good, but caring too much is bad" when he was asked about the people who love him and the people who don't. I mean he does have a good goddamn point there. GEMINI IS SO RELATABLE LMFAO

Listening to NCT and Thai bl osts while my parents are yelling at each other>>>>>

I feel so pressured. I've been assigned to make an entree for our section in a broadcasting contest, the due is on Monday. Next week. And she only told us this yesterday. Guess who randomly assigned five of my friends that??? Of course it's my Filipino teacher, we didn't even get 10 minutes of break time because of her whining yesterday for some quiz scores, she really doesn't understand that it's almost exam week which means we have a shit ton of schoolworks and then she decides to add this??? Why couldn't she have sent one of our broadcasts (there we're 4 groups of us in the class to make a broadcasting program, and we've already finished it, she doesn't want any of them and she picked five people who are somewhat talented  (I'm the only one untalented), she said. Lmao, what a joke.) So yes. She wants us to make another one so that she at least has an entrée for the contest and just so she doesn't get EMBARASSED.