so its been a long time.
a lot of things have been... stressful right now.
and i'm sitting here a really changed, different person.
three years ago this would've been some part of a life plan
to send me to Stanford you know.

life plans.

but right now its just....
i've been so out of touch
with those dreams.
and i need those dreams back.
or else i'm going to disappear.
vanish
like those
quotidiant desires
i haven't had in a while.

like wanting to eat oranges.
or practice a random instrument i'll never stick to.
or finding a readitallinonenight type of book.

i feel lost
stumbling
sore

unconnected to who i am who i was who i wanted to 
be.

anyways.
i stop here.
praying this sudden fit of...
profound longing
doesn't dissipate into
thin air.