this message may be offensive
TW: vent, gender dysphoria, swearing.
I just had a whole fucking meltdown.
I was wearing my brother’s clothes making a joke like: “I’m cosplaying as X” and went off and all that. And then I showed my parents and my dad was like: “Oh, those look really nice on in you” and that made me really happy, because i thought that meant I didn’t look like a girl, but then he just said “It makes you look really feminine and woman like” I can’t blame him for it because I’m not even out to him yet. I don’t even know if i’ll be out to him, ever. And then I went to the washroom and just cried my eyes out because that comment really fucking hurt me and I looked in the mirror and saw that he was right. It just made me cry even more and I really really fucking hate it. I hate how I looked, I really hate it. And i couldn’t even change out of it because I was going to be late for my lesson and I had to wear it until I got back home and I really really fucking hate it. I feel disgusting, like it isn’t me.