✧ amsthedefeater ✧

Kind of breaks my heart that I’ve been part of this website for four years now. Joining Wattpad was… something. I’ve made and lost friends on here. Absolutely absurd. And if I’m being honest? This site changed my life - I wouldn’t have joined so many activities, like ArtFight, or gotten Discord for a while, I wouldn’t have learned some valuable lessons. Thanks guys

Man.

Life update:
          I found a dog breed and fell in love with it, German Shorthaired Pointers, they fit my active lifestyle well and I can’t wait to get the puppy. Started talking to breeders, and I think I’ve found the perfect one. Very excited, and I’ll be getting the puppy next summer. I’ll see if maybe I can make a book and post some pictures when I get the puppy!
          I’m working hard to earn 1.8k by next year, I have abt $756 right now.

Hope y’all are doing well :)

Feel bad because my reactive mutt lunged at a small dog on our walk
          I do try my hardest to avoid triggers but there was only one sidewalk and I wasn’t gonna go straight on the busy road

Dude it fucking hurts even more when you realize you never even got the change to say goodbye

Yo why are the reply buttons and stuff purple what 

Anyways so my mom asked if I was okay mentally today and I just said “yep” and she was like “k cool” and left
          I’m so good at lying 

“I feel like you've been acting different lately is there somthing going on?”
          -my friend, after I told her I didn’t want to pay $4 a month for Nintendo Online when I probably won’t even use it
          Yeah, stuff is going on. I’m stressed, depressed, and a sad little mess, but she knows all of that.

TW// Suicidal thoughts, generally depressive thoughts, anxiety, etc.
          
          I really want to tell someone. I just don’t know who. I don’t want to spring something like having literal suicidal thoughts on my family without warning. My mom and dad would feel so guilty and I just. Don’t want them to be guilty over it. I don’t know who to tell. I don’t trust anyone at school, but I… I don’t know, I don’t want to tell my parents face-to-face. I start to hyperventilate even thinking about telling them sometimes. I’d tell a distant family member, like my cousin, but I don’t want her to have to deal with that, or it’d be a big mess if she were to think I was joking.
          Help.