After spending years sober I hit a new bottom,a bottom in recovery that no human power could relieve me from. That meant meetings, fellowship, sponsees, all of it stopped working. I had forgotten the most important aspect of the program and was surrounded by people who did the same. We fellowshiped together and we then helped others to stay sober following exactly what we had done. There was no recovery in sight but a lot of gratitude for our physical sobriety we worked hard for. We were sober alcoholics and it worked...until it did not. Once an alcoholic realizes that even in sobriety and even after taking the steps and even after "Yes" being the most spiritual I could say for years....I was forced to fully concede to my innermost self that I was not happy, joyous, and free. God sent me to my sponsor who has been walking in the light of her recovery for over 62 years and I let it all out! Then I began my journey to recovery- I finally put my tool-kit down that I held like a clutch and allowed myself to feel the truth of who I was and where I was at. I got rigorously honest in my new hopelessness and I began to pursue the spiritual remedy for my malady with a willingness I had never before been able to muster- oddly enough that too is in the book.