*i live on an ostrich farm
*i got sorted into hufflepuff
*i graduated from hogwarts
*i was albus severus's babysitter
*ron was drunk once and he cast a spell to bring a chicken nugget to life
* the chicken nugget suffocated me for trying to eat him
*i died
*normani kordei brought me back to life with her bomb selfies
*i went to LA 
*i met tyga at the club
*he introduced me to the kardashians 
*i dated scott disick 
 *kourtney tried to murder me but luckily i escaped to chicago
*i discovered a fence and on the other side was an expiramental society
*i jumped off a moving train and died 
*i was resurrected as tris prior
*i died in alligent and my boyfriend tobias pretended to act sad but secretly he was sick of me
*so i possesed him 
*but then miley cyrus killed him and he died so i was no longer a ghost posessing him
*i was resurrected again as finnick odair
*but i was too hot for anyone to handle so suzanne collins killed me off  in the last book
*i had the lamest death ever 
*i didn't even get to see my child grow up
*its like remus lupin all over again
*so i was resurrected by allysus again
*as simon cowell 
*10 years later i retired from being a judge on 927 billion different shows
*i married selena gomez
*we had 77 children
*one of them was john cena
*jelena fans tried to kill me 
*so i divorced her and got plastic surgery to make me look like a probuscis monkey
*then nickelodeon hired me to be the voice actor as squidward tenticales bc i had a squidward nose
*nobody knew i was simon cowell
*i became lonely & depressed 
*i ran away from nick studios
*beyonce hired me as blue ivy's chef
*i mistook jay z for cheese and cooked him in a soufflé once so i ran away  
*i became an astronaut for nasa
*they sent me to mars
*i crashed
*luckily i brought 2 ostriches with me to breed 
*i started a new life on an ostrich farm on mars
*i spend my days on wattpad reaing camren fanfics
*thats it  
*im a pretty boring person huh
*one more question for you
*got any grapes