I know this is wattpad and not a therapy session, but I just wanted somewhere to vent and I don't really feel comfortable telling this stuff to my friends. I don't have many followers and I don't really know anyone here, so if you just randomly ran into this, feel free to ignore it, I'm probably just gonna write a long ass text about the reasons why I probably have depression and life events that have led up to this point.
Yesterday my parents had a little one day trip, and left me and my brother at home alone. I tried my best to keep things tidy for their arrival, since I know they hate when things are out of place or dirty. I like to think of myself as a slow person, it takes me a really long time to do simple things and more than half of my time is probably spent gaining the courage to get up and working, but no matter how slow I am, I always make sure to do my tasks so I don't become a burden to the ones around me, so no matter how lazy or tired I felt yesterday, I made sure to wash the dishes, clean after our pets, put away the washed laundry, etc. But I forgot to take out the trash, so when my dad got home today, he threw a tantrum about it and started throwing trash on the floor, saying that if this is how me and my brother like things then this is how were going to live now. I cried during dinner and I felt like throwing up, but I didn't leave the table because I knew he would get mad at me. During that time, I though about how much better it was when he wasn't home, about how comfortable I feel when im alone, about how I hate the way I can't just speak my mind and tell him he makes me feel like I'm a waste of space.
