Im weird as fuck, and this is gonna be weird as fuck, so bear🐻 with me.         //I swear I'm not a runaway from any mental hospitals kthxx

1. I read for the 👺🗿

2. My Love Interests:

Dr. Phil (ironically)
Mr. Moseby (non-ironically)
Big Daddy Gordon Ramsey 
Edit: Also
Astly🥺 (read Who's Texting Me?...) T H E B E S T. 
Kpop MEN (🥵awna o o P)
My annoying cat Percy
Gwen Stefani's Nostril
...wait wha-

3. Advice:

-Don't trust pigeons, they're government spies
-Same with squirrels, their beady watchful eyes scare the absolute shit out of me
-NEVER. EAT. BLUE. FROSTING. 
-Always drink boxed water(jk what the fuck is that?)
-Apple Juice is the equivalent of alcohol

-Dr. Phil is god 
-Mr. Moseby is jesus 
-Michael Jackson is dead

-Never sleep with your window open because that gives pigeons full access to e v e r y t h i n g... even your wattpad library. Yeah, exactly. 

-Never point a fan upwards while its on because it can create a whirlwind of death that sky-rockets you to the sun

...I think its best if I end here

That wasnt even advice wtf someone call a mental hospital for me I honestly might actually be a runaway patient iDR. I'm sorry if u read all this-

But thank you for listening to my Ted Talk.