maegan

the sun has never shone 
          incandescently the way you did.
          with eyes so chocolate yet so 
          honeydew across mine; 
          you are my favorite part of the day.
          your phrases alone make me
          want to love you 'till i perish from
          this very Earth.
          your laugh so contagious so pure
          makes me want to pepper kisses
          along your face and keep you
          away from the dirt.
          my tiny heart has learned to 
          accommodate its immense passion
          for you;
          and i'm hoping it will not burst and
          spill too much red;
          then, you'll know how ugly
          an interior can be and you'll wish
          you've never been loved by me.
          
          ———
          this was not supposed to end like this
          but i got carried away.

i wore mascara on my 20th birthday.
          was it to lessen the scars
          of my insecurities or was it 
          because i knew i'd end up 
          crying at 11:11 in the evening?
          seasons have passed, 
          prices have increased, 
          the weather has turned 
          hotter than last year, 
          people have matured (or did they?), 
          yet i am still here, now 20, 
          wrapped within the clutches 
          of loneliness.
          it is an enemy of mine
          every 7th of may each time 
          the calendars turn or have i 
          mistaken it all along?
          maybe it's been a companion 
          because Lord knows why birthdays
          have become soooo depressing. 
          yes, a lot of people 
          (who claim to be friends) 
          greet me but who really
          is there to be someone 
          who carries my weight? 
          who helps me throughout 
          everything? who willingly 
          becomes a companion 
          just like dear old loneliness.
          so maybe, i wore mascara 
          on my 20th birthday 
          to see the tear stains that 
          prove how much i've
          endured throughout these years.
          

barely living now

i miss writing poetry for someone :((

i love you with all i am possessed with.
          my demons—they have learned to embrace you as well. they—those who haunt me—are blinded by the light specks of your eyes and the curls of your hair. you are here with them—inside the grey areas of my catastrophic mind. you are here—calming the wilding storms of the east. my demons—they have learned to love you...so much they do not dare let you out.
          
          _________
          
          proof of life!!!! 

this day sucks, so i'm back to reading comments on my poetry to feel something :")

based on a true story.
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/335369539

MY FIRST BABY "LILY OF THE VALLEY" HAS 1K READS WHATTT

"my love"

the jealousy of harlequin by nina petrovna as pfp ❀ i love that piece