I disappeared for two weeks.
And there are so many things in my heart that I want to say, things that need to be said, but I don’t think I have the strength to say them yet. Just that...
I left because I was living inside something that felt like hell, and I’m still trying to understand how I walked out of it breathing.
First of all, thank you. Truly.
Thank you to everyone who kept reading my story, who sent support, who stayed even when I went completely silent. You had no reason to wait for me, and yet you did.
I’m writing this from Iran. And no, I’m not okay.
And if you’re sensitive, please don’t read the rest of this message, as it may be painful.
In the time I was gone, I saw things I had only ever written about before. And reality was far worse than anything I’ve ever put on a page. People were shot in the streets. Not just protesters, but even those watching from their windows. Bodies fell one after another. Blood everywhere. The smell of it still hasn’t left me.
I lost friends. People close to me.
Here, it feels like almost every family lost someone.
If I’m honest, I think this is what shock looks like. Trauma, maybe.
I don’t fully understand what’s happening inside me yet. I don’t want to talk about it in detail. I just know I’m not the same person I was before those nights, and I haven’t slept properly since.
I’m not saying any of this to seek attention. Not at all.
And I’m sorry for saying all of this, but I felt like I needed to explain instead of disappearing without a word.
So if I go quiet again, please forgive me.
I don’t know when I’ll be able to return fully, or how long this silence might last. I’m still too raw to promise anything.
Thank you again for your patience, your kindness, and your support while I was gone. It matters more than you know♡
