nielleisgone

I’m not sorry for what I’ve done. My decision to leave you will make me look bad in people’s eyes but they don’t know our story. They don’t know who struggles the most in this relationship. They don’t know that we can’t get along. They don’t know how our love for each other fades away like the stars when the night’s over.
          
          They don’t know anything but they don’t shut up. They keep talking like they know you. Like they know me. Like they know us. They blame us for not loving each other anymore when love’s beyond our control.

I was cleaning my room and found this in my journal. I'm just gonna leave it here...
          
          "He died." Two words yet so hard for me to swallow. Did I miss anything? I felt like I used to know him but I couldn't remember anything about him. However, I was sure that the one appeared in my nightmares was none other than him. His face; I recognised it. I knew and was convinced that he had something to do with my life; if not someone closer, he might be an acquaintance. Some might say, if he was really an acquaintance, then that meant I couldn't care less but no, I wondered who he might be—what he had done for me before I lost every single memory of him… of my past life.
          
          I was told that I became what I am today because of a car accident. It was a fatal one but the one dying wasn't me. Instead, it was an Audi driver that drove at full speed towards my car. That was the only thing I was told by the doctor when I asked him back then. I wasn't told that there was someone else with me during that time, so I believed that I was really alone.
          
          But now I began to doubt.
          
          The girl that stayed with the guy remained silent the entire time. She looked down most of the time and only spoke when there were questions that needed to be answered but even that, some questions were still left unanswered.
          
          I wondered if I used to be someone curious like this before. Something like a change of my personality could happen, so it might be that I was ignorant before… and that I hurt many people with my ignorance including that dead guy.