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well, hello there!
          
          this is by far not a comeback, i've come to the conclusion that i will never write stories here again, purely because this is a football account and i don't like these stories anymore. but i write on fanfiktion.de in german now, which is much more easy to me and i like it a lot better. i also write freestyle now or about dwk (the wild soccer bunch, dunno if you know that).
          
          but what i did want to do was update y'all on my life, as it's been 9 months since i left.
          
          1. i've successfully detoxed from social media. i am not dependent on it anymore and my happiness doesn't rely on my reads etc.
          
          2. i've found what makes me happy and i've become a much more open and calm human.
          
          3. a few weeks ago i turned 17 and i feel old now lol. i've started looking into what i want to study and also into universities, as i need to be set on something in a year. i'm even thinking about going to the netherlands to be able to study psychology.
          
          4. i've started the road to my driver's license. i'm right now in the lessons for my theoretical exam and the application to be allowed to drive at 17 is being processed right now and when it's done i can start my driving lessons and take my exams. i'll probably be finished by september or october!
          
          5. i've gone through almost one half of my last two school years and am pretty successful right now. we are going by points now, 15 is the best and 0 the worst and i don't have any points below 8 at this moment. my advanced courses (leistungskurse) are english and geography and i am very happy with that. i've also, with tutoring, become very good at maths again :)
          
          6. my friend is very set on coupling me up with another friend of ours, which is a bit uncomfortable, but i accept my fate haha
          
          7. i am happier than i've ever been and i have realized that that is what counts.
          
          how are you guys? i'd love to hear that, as i haven't caught up with y'all in a while.
          
          much love, nynke <3

so, this is a final decision.
          i am ultimately saying goodbye to wattpad for good, i really don't enjoy it here anymore, am barely active and don't even have enough motivation to write in english at the moment. right now i mostly write in german and i enjoy it a lot more.
          i am definitely not coming back, so any of my stories are now never going to be continued. i don't want to delete the account though, as there are still so many good memories on here.
          i just want you all to know that i have grown to love you all so much and that i am still staying in contact with every single one of you over instagram. i am still going to be active there, be open for any dms and talk to you. 
          i really had a hard time making this decision and i am sorry to everyone who enjoyed my stories. this is just not me anymore.
          i am still proud of the fact that i had 130 followers at one point, that's an enormous number. and all the reads i got on my stories and the votes, they made me so happy, but i made my happiness depend on them way too much. 'i'm a believer' has now also passed 1k reads, which makes me so thankful and greatful to all of you.
          thank you for the wonderful 2 years i had on here, without you this wouldn't have been possible. thank you to everyone who stood by me through all the time. without this all i wouldn't be the human i am today .
          i thought being inactive on here would make me miss this, but it actually made me realize i needed a change. it's for the better. maybe one day i am going to come back and reminisce about the past days on here, but that'll be a few years from now.
          i guess this is goodbye then (just on here though).
          and one last time:
          have good day/night/morning/noon/evening/whatever time it is wherever you are!
          lots of love,
          nynke/lilli <3

this was a really hard decision to make, as this was the first book i ever wrote on here, but i will delete 'on top of the world'. i just don't have any more motivation for it, i hate how i wrote it and it's super cringy. it just doesn't represent my writing style anymore. i'm sorry to everyone who read and enjoyed this book ❤️

so, no more mukbangs/asmrs of people eating huge chunks of spagetthi then.
          
          as a kid i used to have this nightmare when i was sick of me being forced to swallow huge chunks of spagetthi and i just couldn't stop it.
          
          now this video i watched almost made me throw up because of that trigger i didn't know was hidden inside me :(

taking time off of any social media to have some me-time! 

this friday i wrote my last latin exam in my life, i'll never have a class again, and i'm sad because i really loved it, it was one of my favorite classes :(

just wrote my biology exam and it was so much easier than expected. i spent the whole evening yesterday procrastinating about it, because it was supposed to have some part of chemistry in it and i'm shit at chemistry, and then i only had like the easiest parts of the topics that she told us. and only 3/10 of the topics she gave us. i'm mad and super thankful at the same time. thanks i guess? 

i just saw a tiktok about a girl and her grandma that passed away and now i'm so scared it'll happen to my grandma soon. she's the only grandparents i have left and she is almost 92. back in november she had a bad accident and she couldn't walk for months, but it's going upwards again now. but still i am scared it will all go downhill again and that she'll die. i love her so much and really don't want to lose her. i was way too small to understand my other grandparents' deaths, but i'd be crushed by hers.
          
          i love you, oma 

am i the only person who was absolutely terrified by the pinocchio as a child? i was deathly afraid and never watched it or listened to the audio book

and here comes another chapter of "i'm a believer". i hope you'll enjoy it, and please vote and comment on it ♡