awkwxrd.ash

I'm especially sorry to Izabelle, I haven't been replying because I feel this way but I don't want to use this as an excuse everytime I do this and if you do end up reading this and the other thing then I'm sorry. I just need sometime right now I guess and I should've told you personally but I'm to scared to, I'm too scared that I'm gonna hurt your feelings if all of a suppen I'm just like "I need a break right now, dont talk to me" or something like that because if someone said that to me, I'd be offended. I'm not trying to be the bitch that makes it all about herself and fakes things just to get attention, I just want sometime to think. I'm sorry that you might see this on here instead of our messages but I'm to scared to have an actual conversation... But if you would please respect the fact that I want some alone time (once again because I'm a complete bitch) then I'd really really appreciate it, thank you <33

Okay I don't know where else to post this where a lot of people don't know me except for here. I'm gonna be completely honest with you even though if anyone reads this I most likely don't know you and you dont know me. I've been feeling really depressed lately and whenever I get like this for some reason I feel the need to push my friends and family away from me (infact I kinda haven't been active on social media because of this) because I feel like I'm not their number 1 priority and that they won't care about how I'm feeling because I feel like that. I have no idea why I'm like this but I just am. I don't like to talk to people about my feelings or when I feel like this because I feel like I will get in the way of their life and I don't want that. I know you're not supposed to post your feelings and I don't know why I'm opening up to a bunch of people I don't know but I just feel the need to say this... I honestly hope if someone that knows me personally finds my account and reads this that they don't give a fuck. I'm sorry for any of you people who might actually know me personally as well because welp I'm not the perfect Ashlynn I always try to be. If anyone I know personally reads this, please dont let me come into your life with my sad ass, and please just don't care for me because then ill feel bad that you are putting all your time into me... I'm sorry for this message thing but I just don't know how to feel right now but thank you for listening... :(