𝑷 𝒆 𝒂 𝒓 𝒍

A new poem, "If a man filters to cry" has been added in my latest poetry collection. Give a read if your few seconds permit —
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/1590465021-traveller%27s-heart-if-a-man-filters-to-cry
          
          _____
          
          I know, I'm late. Besides, maybe it's not just about men in general. This year's theme was celebrating men and boys.

“If most of your writings are dark, and people end up appreciating it and wanting you to write more about it, does that mean they want you to live in darkness more?”
          
          I don't think so. Even if you end up wishing for my darkness—I wouldn't mind it. 
          
          One of my friends asked me yesterday. And honestly, it reminds me of what I said to @Ajay-Kumar once. 
          
          The question is, grief isn't a phase, nor a genre—certain events played a major role in my writing era, but I don't think my happy phase will hinder my writing process, because I am writing for everyone, and sadly, grief will always be a part of life. 
          
          I'm quite happy and sad that you can relate to sadness, but how would you appreciate daylight without the darkness of night?
          
          So, my lord—the centuries-old literature celebrates grief and repeats the process, 
          
          But me? I'm just a medium of this process. 
          
          As long as people are here, sadness will be a part of this reality (not just as genre once a girl talked about somewhere), 
          
          and (un)fortunately, my words are the face of my brand. Be it then, in this phase of life—I believe in the fusion of light and dark together; not the other way around.

Don't have the fantasy of, “I can fix him/her.” Even though Wattpad tropes are full of this shit. Even though every girl/woman has the fantasy of fixing bad boys with their love.
          
          What I mean when I say, “You can't fix anyone,” is that sure, as a partner, you can say “Darlin’, go ahead! I will support you,” but they need to take the step of healing themselves first. They need to work willingly on that process. You cannot make a bad guy into a good guy. You can never fix anyone. 
          
          That's just an illusion—that yes, my love will fix him and he will stop drinking and smoking and sleeping around with anyone. It's just a myth. You cannot fix her/him unless they want to work on themselves. But yes, you can support them and stay to hold their back whenever it's needed.
          
          No one wants to stay strong 24/7, of course—it's exhausting. The point of having a partner is finding someone with whom you can find peace, with whom you can just be yourself. But it doesn't mean that you need to degrade yourself to earn his/her love. 
          
          Love isn't like this. It's not your staying-strong behavior that's forcing/letting them make mistakes. It's certain types of guys who think that they can walk all over you and you will still be fine, because you're just ever present for them whenever they want you.
          
          Don't degrade yourself to earn anyone's shit love, especially just to fix them. 
          
          Real life is far away from a book where a guy is slapping a girl, locking her in a room just because he was jealous of her speaking with another guy. And still that girl is giving doe eyes, eating chocolates as if she's forgiving her bad boy. (And this really happened in a book, written by an 18-year-old.)
          
          I wonder what kind of mentality these writer-girls harbor.

Nice to see you Pearl!  How lovely you are!
          I can't find where you said your mum is not doing great, so I will reply here.  So is she at home now, still re-couperating?
          I will say a little prayer and hope she starts to do better now.
          I have a bit of a cold, doctors are saying there is a virus going around linked with Covid.  I doubt we will ever get rid of it.  I'm okay really, but my family have all had it.  I tend to fight things off!
          Hope you are okay.

Calling anyone by their first name is disrespectful. True for some cultures. 
          
          In English, "you" refers to anyone, although once "thou" meant informal and "you" meant formal. 
          
          I don't consider calling anyone by their first name disrespectful. I still call my friends (way older than me) by their first name. It doesn't mean that I don't respect them.
          
          Respect comes through interaction, through your choice of words, and in many other instances.
          
          I remember this one incident where someone was hell-bent on knowing my age because they would act differently if I were older than them but my question was: why does respect have anything to do with my age?
          
          I remember once a lady saying that she has friends who are 25 and 75 respectively and has worked with people who are half her age, and she's in her fifties. 
          
          I felt the same way. Now that I think back, I have friends from almost every decade, and our friendship has always worked because there's mutual respect. Whether it's millennials, boomers, or someone else, one of them calls me a baby INFJ jokingly, but never ever have they disrespected me or looked down on me just because I'm younger than them.
          
          There's always been respect for my work, for my craft, for my perspective. 
          
          And with age, they have the fair advantage of experience that younger people can never beat, but I think it's high time that old folks understand as well—young people come with fresh talent, fresh perspectives that may outrun you sometimes. 
          
          So, it shouldn't be about dominance and subordination when it's supposed to be teamwork with mutual respect. 
          
          Funnily enough, I found out from Pat that in the 1950s or before that, this wasn't the norm. Instead, you had to address people either by their surnames or as uncle/aunt.
          
          It shows how cultures evolve over time, how in different places different things work.
          
          I don't mind being called by my first name. Respect isn't just limited to names—it's also in the way you interact with people.

Wow! I've just seen you, love your profile picture.

There you are!

Pearl, the new book covers are beautifully serene.

Have you ever been stuck at a point where a hundred tabs are open but you're stuck, literally stuck with your screen? If you've ever done research, then you know what I am talking about. But the problem is that I ain't even saying that figuratively. 
          
          Literally, a hundred tabs are open in my brain now. All I am trying to do is catch my breath with the wires. 
          
          It's like so much to do yet so little time. I always stretch myself so thin that I end up in a mess because why? I wanna write everywhere, I wanna write everything, I wanna be present everywhere. If I don't, social media will make sure to give me FOMO (fear of missing out).
          
          [While my novella draft is giving me a stinging eye from the corner]
          
          Damnit! This is why I hate to be on social media platforms, but look at the bright side! These platforms gave me the best memories, best people, as well as a chance to be closer to my dream. 
          
          This is why I don't take any feedback so lightly here. I tell you, this isn't a joke when you have to go through a whole collection of 74/185 poems just to reply! I spent the whole day there. I didn't need to but I wanted to. 
          
          But did I just reply? Gosh, y'all made me realize why I'm even writing in this place. The amount of love I always get—believe me, I don't take it lightly. 
          
          I tried my best to show my gratitude to my readers, friends, and followers who spend their precious time on my words. But still, if I missed out on anyone, pardon me. 
          
          (As for my ONC novella, that's on hold for now—so are the replies)
          
          Just so you know, I watch and read every notification even though I have a hard time replying everywhere. I swear, I ain't ignoring anyone, but life only gives 24 hours and I badly need sleep at this point. 
          
          Thank you to the people who always teach me the ability of being humbled and humble—I don't write like Sreeja, I don't reply like Ajay or Gideon, but you have no idea how much each of you inspires me to always get better.

Sending you so so much love, beautiful. Really hope you’re doing better. ❤️✨