I fight the screaming, the fear, the 
embarrassing stupidity.
I don't give in but.
Sometimes it wins.
Sometimes I lose
who am I,
I lose the ability to
form to form to form
sentences and thoughts wi
which don't repeat
the ability to form
the ability to form 
sentences which don't repeat
in circles in my head.
Sometimes the little faceless man runs
screaming 
in circles 
and I
can't look 
directly
for fear they 
might see him
running 
screaming.
I can't open my eyes to them
can't open my mind or soul
in fear they might know that
I'm faking it.

I know they know
anyway. 
I know they hear it. I know they talk.
I know they wonder where I went
why I can't hear them 
the noise, the noise in my head
won't let me go.
It
won't
let 
go.
I try.
I cut.

All this wasted time
this wasted life
destroys me.