i miss you a lot.. and i feel bad. i feel bad for everything that i caused you, all the hurt and all the pain. i didn't treat you well. i didn't treat you like a son, i treated you so horribly. i wasn't showing how much i loved you. but, babyboy ? i love you more than anything. you're my oldest son, and you've always been there for me and my brother. you make me happy, you keep me sane, you love me and i love you. you're the best. okay ? okay.