you gotta seize..

Hi

Hello!

It feels too long ago since I was actually active here, I posted about every week one of these announcements. Now I didn't for months. But I'm not going to go in the phase of 'Oh no! I should be more active for my followers' or some shit, because that's not what is necessary and not what's true. 
          
          To clarify, there are times where you're active on a certain app, having fun and everything, then you find a new one and forget about the old one. 
          
          Your followers follow you because you're entertaining or nice, and that's fine. But as a 'creater' you shouldn't feel pressured to do anything for those followers and so I won't either. My point is, I see a lot of people stressing about their followers (being sad when they lose followers, pressured to post in time, etc.). I think that's not the thing people should worry about the most, because in the end it's supposed to be for fun and for yourself.
          
          This is not a goodbye, but as you can see from the dates of my previous posts, I'm not active anymore. I will respond to dm's if I have any, late, but better than never. So for now, please care about your own health and needs and try to encourage others. <3

must. seize. 

dont mind me following u i want to look through your lists for my school project 

honestly, I really thought it would be better when I would go to school again, but now it's just the exact same: I'm bored and because of that, I think (and overthink) too much.
          
          I'm getting sick of more and more things, including myself. It's not depression and it's not something to worry about, it will be over as soon as I'm distracted by the homework again. If it won't be over by then, then it might be something to worry about, but that chance is low and I'm sure of it.
          
          at the moment it's too quiet in my environment, and too loud in my mind with negativity. What negativity? I don't know. I just feel empty and I know I'm complaining when I shouldn't be; the moment is there that I looked forward to the whole vacation, going back to school, and then I'm not satisfied. Not satisfied with the present, because I know that I will be too busy in the future (in a matter of weeks), so how can I complain about something I will want in the future? It's a loop, looking forward to something (in this case, homework and seeing school friends), and when I finally have it, wanting to go back to the time (having nothing to do) when I craved for the moment I'm in.
          
          I'm just going to say it. I'm often really disappointed in myself, in everything I do.

paste this ❣️ on ten ❣️ of the nicest people's profile ❣️and if you get back ten ❣️ you're really special 
          
          ( hru bestie )

paste this ❣️ on ten ❣️ of the nicest people's profile ❣️ and if you get back ten❣️ you're really special

yAy I finally got to make my ao3 account :D 
          
          and please someone help me with finding a nomin fanfic back on there because I lost it and I wasn't done reading- okay it was (as I read obviously most) a smut, with jaemin being jeno's stalker, taking photos of him and spying him from his window (they were window neighbours, if you get what I mean). Eventually jeno came over to his house for studying or something, and at first still didn't notice what jaemin had done in secret. 
          I really can't find it back, no matter which tags I add. I've been searching for some time now, so I'm pretty sure I won't be able to find it by myself anymore. So if anyone knows, please let me know the title or the author!!
          
          anyway I did a corona test yesterday for this camping (still in france), AND I TEARED UP (my eyes just left tears but not bc it hurted) AND THAT STICK GOT STUCK IN MY NOSE- well, apparently my left nose thing is really small so it happened twice now :') but alright it wasn't that bad I guess. If you're still here reading this, I hope your nose isn't small so a stick will he stuck.
          
          hope you're having a nice day <33

help I'm in France and hit 500 followers- 
          
          yesterday we drive for like 12 hours, and today we will drive a bit less, but we still have a lot of hours to go until we're at the destination we want to stay for 5 days. 
          
          and you know, as an introvert it wasn't that hard to entertain myself on my phone and stuff. you know what I did? I knitted a part of my blanket (yes I knit sometimes shush), I read a hella long book on ao3 and it was so good (it was about jaemin bringing renjun back from the dead I- I can link if anyone wants to read it) and I wrote a part of my own book which still sucks but alright
          
          so yesterday was fine, but today just sucks. I'm tired because I didn't sleep wel for two nights, the road is really busy so we have to drive way longer than we were supposed and I just want to sleep but I fail every time I try :')
          
          I still have some books I want to read on my phone and a non-fiction book on paper, yet when I'm tired I really just don't want to do anything 
          
          now, thank you so much for 500 followers and the like 35k on my smut book :D
          
          love ya'll now I'm going back inside the car to drive for more hours </3