♡ｂｅａｎ♡

can yall like. shame me into updating?? ive been so uninspired to put in the effort n im lacking on direction. im genuinely asking for help bc im so lost. i have so many unfinished drafts that deserve to be read but i cannot for the life of me get anything out of my brain. ive lost the plot. its all filler n i absolutely hat that

my heart aches. my ego burns. and my soul yearns. amature talent yet nothing worthy to celebrate. i like to believe one day but idk if i'll ever see that day. i'm safe here. but out there i am alive. im scared, desperate, hungry and angry. but i wouldn't say im hopeless. at least not yet.

life update!!
          good: i have 4 concerts lined up and a trip to nyc  nxt year, my gf and i are still madly in love, and im working a job that is good to me
          
          odd: my best friend no longer supports me being gay bc we’re christian but we’re still good friends ?? and i hit a pole while driving to work 
          
          bad: my bird passed away last week :/
          

demi lovato n 5sos presale on friday n im so scared ill be too broke to get tickets LMAO WHY THE SAME DAY LET UR GURL GET MONEY FIRST

❤️

i have literally so much written. like at least 7 stories but theyre nowhere close to being finished

using ai for fanfiction is wild LMAO idek what this discourse is but its cracking me up 

i do be reading vamplor n watching vampire diaries so i can understand the whole vampire thing cuz idk how to write vamplor smutt cuz apparently thats what yall are into lmao

listening to music at max volume with headphones on genuinely is the best thing ever

happy 2 year anniversary baby! i love u so much❤️