this message may be offensive
I lowkey miss fanfiction.... it used to make me so happy but I just can’t enjoy it anymore. I know I’m still a kid but since I started high school I feel like I’m maturing way too fast. I honestly miss being able to read cringe emo crack fanfiction and just enjoying myself. This is gonna sound emo as fùck but mcr actually did save my life in 8th grade and even tho it wasn’t real obviously, fanfic made me feel like I was actually with them and they cared about me. I also really miss interacting with other stannies in the comments. I haven’t talked to most of my friends on here in so long. For the longest time I’ve been putting this off so I didn’t have to admit it but my taste is changing. I’ve started changing my wattpad page as well and it feels wrong like I’m leaving behind the friends I met here without even letting them know. But it’s not like there’s really anything to let them know aside from the fact that I don’t read much fanfic...? I guess it’s just the fear of change. After physically changing my page it kinda set that in stone. To all my new followers this probably looks so overdramatic but idk. My depression started spiraling in May of 2020 and I haven’t felt fulfillment since. In middle school at least I had fanfic but now I can’t even acknowledge the one thing that used to take my mind off shit. It’s like I have moments where I’m happy but I don’t feel complete. I had to go down on my anti-depressants because they were reacting badly with my adhd meds. I actually felt somewhat fulfilled when I was on a higher dosage and now everything’s worse to the point where I can’t even get out of bed. I would go higher again but I need Adderall so I don’t fail my classes. That kinda took a turn. This is all unedited so it’s probably all over the place but I just needed to get that out. I love you all sfm