whiskersdanandphil

My pants make it look like I have a boner. 
                   ~My girlfriend 2k16~
          

Phil: Making my way downtown, walking fast
          Dan: Who ate my cereal? 
          Phil: Walking faster xD

It's my Mum's birthday today !! :D (: Happy Birthday Mum !!

That awkward moment when your grandma is faster than your internet connection 

Dear heart, please stop getting involved in everything.  Your job is to pump blood and that's it.  

Being a person is getting too complicated ... Time to be  a unicorn !! :D

If I marry someone hot and attractive and our kids end up with my face, I'm going to be very pissed!! 

is your profile picture your face because if so hoLY SHIT YOURE BEAUTIFUL PLEASE MARRY ME

Twinkle twinkle little star , I wanna hit you with my car.  Throw you off a cliff so high,  hope you break your neck and die xD. 

What the heck does the ' z ' in ' LOLZ ' mean?!  ' Laugh Out Loud...  Zebras?  '