xtheblueumbrellax

Hello there, everyone. I hope you are all doing well these days. I am writing this message to note that I no longer feel comfortable sharing copies of my old fanfictions. I have only briefly logged in to Wattpad once since my last message, admittedly, so I have not been able to respond to each of the requests in my direct messages. I am very sorry for that. I will hopefully be working on responding to those who have sent me messages over the next few weeks/months. If you have sent me a message on any platform and I have not yet responded to you, please feel free to send me another message here on Wattpad and I will do my best to respond to you as soon as I can! If you have questions regarding my old fanfictions, I would kindly ask that you please message me through Wattpad; my responses are very, very slow (I am very sorry about this..) but it is where I am most likely to respond to inquiries and other contacts regarding my old fanfictions. I do not feel comfortable doing so outside of Wattpad. Thank you very much for everyone's patience. Logging in to this account makes me incredibly anxious, as does discussing my old fanfictions, and I'm very sorry for my delay. While I was willing to share copies last year, I am not comfortable with it anymore, and I am sorry to anyone who is looking for a copy. I do not wish to hurt anyone, I really do not, but this has to be done for my mental health. I am not comfortable with my old work anymore. Thank you for your understanding of this situation, which weighs heavily on my shoulders. Your understanding and patience is much appreciated. To everyone that has supported me and sent me kind words and messages and questions, I appreciate you more than I can describe. I sincerely wish everyone a safe and happy end to summer. Thank you.

xtheblueumbrellax

Hello there, everyone. I hope you are all doing well these days. I am writing this message to note that I no longer feel comfortable sharing copies of my old fanfictions. I have only briefly logged in to Wattpad once since my last message, admittedly, so I have not been able to respond to each of the requests in my direct messages. I am very sorry for that. I will hopefully be working on responding to those who have sent me messages over the next few weeks/months. If you have sent me a message on any platform and I have not yet responded to you, please feel free to send me another message here on Wattpad and I will do my best to respond to you as soon as I can! If you have questions regarding my old fanfictions, I would kindly ask that you please message me through Wattpad; my responses are very, very slow (I am very sorry about this..) but it is where I am most likely to respond to inquiries and other contacts regarding my old fanfictions. I do not feel comfortable doing so outside of Wattpad. Thank you very much for everyone's patience. Logging in to this account makes me incredibly anxious, as does discussing my old fanfictions, and I'm very sorry for my delay. While I was willing to share copies last year, I am not comfortable with it anymore, and I am sorry to anyone who is looking for a copy. I do not wish to hurt anyone, I really do not, but this has to be done for my mental health. I am not comfortable with my old work anymore. Thank you for your understanding of this situation, which weighs heavily on my shoulders. Your understanding and patience is much appreciated. To everyone that has supported me and sent me kind words and messages and questions, I appreciate you more than I can describe. I sincerely wish everyone a safe and happy end to summer. Thank you.

xtheblueumbrellax

This is a notice that "Further to Fall" has been, for now, removed from public view on my profile. It is not deleted, it has just been unpublished. Please refer to the messages below for context. 
          Once again, I am sincerely sorry for the way I portrayed these serious themes in my stories. "Further to Fall" does not reflect the kind of writer or person I am now. I have realized over the years that I have terribly mistreated these themes, and I no longer think it is a good idea to keep this story in public view. This is what feels right in this moment, and it has been something on my mind for quite some time. Please read the messages below for more. 
          Thank you all, truly, for the support and feedback you have given me over the years. Although I stopped writing for a few years, I have recently picked it back up again, and now I am writing EreMin stories that I feel better represent me as both an author and a person. "Further to Fall" is something that weighs heavily on my conscience, and I no longer feel comfortable having it be posted with the way those themes are misrepresented. 
          Please feel free to write me a private message if you would like. The messages below give more context to this situation. 
          Thank you all. You are all shining stars <3

xtheblueumbrellax

Hello there!! I have just recently logged in for the first time in quite a while, and I wanted to, first and foremost, sincerely thank you all for the wonderful support and feedback on my stories over the years! I am tremendously thankful, and you all are shining stars <3
          I wanted to say, unfortunately, that I am heavily debating on turning all my Wattpad stories—specifically “Further to Fall”—back into drafts so they will be hidden from public view on my profile. I understand that my stories have been a source of comfort for many of you, and it is heartwarming to know that my writing was able to provide you some peace during dark times in life. Trust me, I understand the true value of having sources of peace during those times, and the fact that my stories were the source of that for some of you is truly eye-opening. It is not my intention to undermine that at all! However, I cannot deny that I feel as though I did not treat certain themes in my stories with care. There are some serious themes in my stories, and over the years I have come to realize that I misrepresented and showcased them in a way that I now realize I should not have. I sincerely apologize for the way I portrayed these themes. I started publishing stories about six years ago or so, and I did not have the understanding that I do now. I was five or six years younger when I wrote “Further to Fall,” and while my intention was to show a story of hope and escape from terrible situations, I realize now that I did not portray the very real and serious topic of abuse in a proper way. I am truly sorry.  
          If I turn these stories back into drafts, they will not be deleted, they will just be removed from public view. If there is anybody who would want access to them (if they are a potential source of comfort, for example) then please let me know, and I would be glad to give you access to them once they are (if they are) hidden from public view on my profile. I don't want to take that source of peace from you.

xtheblueumbrellax

I do not know when I will be doing this, but I believe it to be soon. Again, they will not be deleted forever for now, they will only be hidden from public view. 
            Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for all the support you have shown me over the years. EreMin continues to be my muse, and I have trudged out of my long hiatus to start posting stories that I believe truly reflect me as a person now. I apologize for the unexpectedness of this message, and I also apologize for all the comments that have gone unanswered over the years. I read them all, trust me on that! I appreciate every single one of you. I am eternally grateful for the time you spent reading my work, as well as the time you have spent giving me lovely support. I am sending you all lots of love <3 Please feel free to private message me if you need! I am more active now elsewhere, so I apologize if I do not respond in a timely manner, but I will try to be quick in my responses, especially as I near taking down my story.
            Thank you, sincerely. EreMin for life. <3
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xtheblueumbrellax

I know that this might seem out of the blue, especially since I have not logged on in so long, but this has been on my mind for years now. It was on my mind constantly when I took my hiatus from writing for a couple of years. It haunted me, and that is far from an exaggeration. Especially now that I have started publishing stories again, I am faced with the reality that I wrote something all those years ago that did not handle serious themes with the care they should have been treated with, and I should not have written about those themes in the first place. I was a teenager who did not understand the gravity of what they were writing. That is not an excuse, and I am not trying to make it one. It is the honest truth. Now I am older, and I have grown and learned so much since writing “Further to Fall.” I have grown as both a writer and a person. When I write and read over my current EreMin stories, which have taken a completely different direction than the ones posted here, it feels as though the knowledge of my mistakes looms over my head—and I do not want to make it seem like I am prioritizing my discomfort over the perspectives of you all as readers, but I feel as though removing this story (and potentially “The Broken Umbrella” and “Thoughts are Blue”) would be important in the name of removing such a source of mistreatment for these themes. This story has grown more than I ever thought it would. This has been on my mind for so long… I do not want to seem ungrateful for your support, because believe me, the kind words and sweet messages from you all are practically woven in gold thread, and I am over-the-moon thankful for every ounce of support I have received from you!
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