your point of view ✔

Chapter 25: your point of view (summation)

Kai

I woke up to the light shining through the glistening windows. The sun shining as brightly as it could on a winter day, and it hasn't yet melted the thick snow just like how my love wasn't even melted yet for the person sleeping beside me. Oh my god... that's so cheesy, I can't. I'm sorry.

But for real, as much cheese was put into that sentence... it was true. I haven't gone tired of loving Stan and I pray for more years to come that it would never be tiring to love him. Only him. The thought of loving someone else was sure to be in mind, but I wouldn't picture it like how I am with Stan. 

The man had given me a house for god's sake. To think that he would get me something extravagant, it was much more absurdly extravagant that he gave me. I hope people just don't see me as that gold-digging whore when I was not the one who asked for this. Technically, it was a Christmas gift and gifts are meant to be a secret just to the ones giving but when the time comes that he gave me something that I didn't ask nor was it a gift. I would refuse it. It was better that way. I didn't want to feel like I wasn't capable of getting what I want.

But then, I would waste an item... Maybe once in a while, I would have it. 

Seeing the still sleeping handsome beside me, it made me smile to myself that I've got to see his face when he's still dozing off. The stubble was growing little by little on his jawline, defining the already sharp jaw that he had without it. Truly, how did I even score myself a person like this?

Our relationship from the beginning was complicated if I thought about it. But if it was in chronological order, it would be like this: He had a crush on me or started liking me when we were fifteen then I had a crush on him when we were seventeen. Then it went to me hating him for doing his shenanigans and contemplating myself if I liked him or not to become extremely confused by happy at the same time when he said he liked me too. It went on as a date between us, we became boyfriends and suddenly shit started to fall down like some just pick the wrong card. For five years, we waited for each other and soon get back and know why we left it off at seventeen. Now... we're dating again. As if that whole journey wasn't an exploration like how Adia wanted me to explore when I first met her on the train.

Could it be that it's a lesson? 

Something that I need to realize when loving someone regardless of who they are. Even when it's not Stan?

It takes commitment, and understanding - takes courage that we have to realize that there's no in-between in the relationship. Has to understand that sometimes - talking is the best solution when it comes to being quiet and figuring out by yourself, it could be either detective has gone right or detective manoeuvring a flight. 

Where you don't even know what you're doing that you wrecked a relationship by yourself.

I could be wrong but that was what I was doing a lot with Stan. I've been driving the getaway car like I know where I would lead to for an answer. Little did I know was that I needed a map, a guide... a voice to tell me where to go. Communication.

And fuck... it takes a shit amount of time. Like a whole five years amount of time.

You would say that it's the common thing about a relationship, but it's the truth. I couldn't see myself in a healthy relationship where we not just fought 24/7 but make it up for each other, giving cuddles and sappy things that made us mushy inside. Sure, fighting is unavoidable. It doesn't mean it meant that the relationship has anchored. A true relationship grows and blooms like a flower day by day facing hardships and wrecking balls, becoming the natural beauty it is regardless if it's a high school love, a college love or work love. Whatever it is... 

Puppy love doesn't mean it's not true, it's because you're not devotionally in love.

A chained relationship doesn't mean it's not true, it's because you not have found the right one... it's because you're egotistically in love.

So it makes sense to understand someone from their point of view. In those sights, you'll find how would love them and how you'd love yourself. So as said, I was trying to do the same. It was a small step, but it was worth it along the way. It helped me hold on to Stan while he does the same as well. In times when I always asked myself who could stay? I didn't need to decide to know.

In the same period of me lost in my thoughts, Stan's eyes fluttered opened slowly to look at me with hazy eyes. He closes back his eyes with a smile. "Good morning~~," He said, stretching the end of 'morning' for a long ten second. 

He wrapped his arms over my naked body under the duvet, brushing my back with his fingers. Had I mentioned that we were naked under the bedspread? My mistake...

"Good morning," I replied softly, placing my hand through his hair.

He leans in, kissing my nose. "You're up early? Having long thoughts again?"

Just knows me so well.

"Kind of... what? Did you have some too?" 

"Nope," He answered, popping the 'p' sound. "But I do have some wonderful dreams. They were going in and out like it doesn't make sense, but I love it," He grinned.

I smiled at his enthusiasm over dreams. "What was it?"

"For starters, I was eating a hot dog. Then suddenly I move to another place where you were taking me home. I didn't know why, but I was smiling just by looking at you," I chuckled at him, not surprised by this fact. "Then we were on a couch... I saw you at my apartment...," He paused, remembering the once faded dream. 

"Then suddenly we got married! With just a snap," He nods his head, approving of the dream. 

I can't help but laugh at the little description he made of his dream. Not to mention that it sounded so real. "So you're marrying me huh?" I intrigued, going closer towards him.

Our nose touching and rubbing each other, he smirked. "The last thing on my to-do list would be that,"

"You would rather do any other things first?" I smiled, wondering why it wasn't the first.

He hummed. "Because I wanna save you for last," He connects our lips together, filling me with his tongue and his heat. He got his hand cup onto my face, holding me down as he leans over me. We continued kissing for an entire moment of pure ecstasy on the look of our faces - burning both of us with a colour of red. So much to say, I felt his dick hardens as it pokes my thigh, and it made me hard as well. Just by touch. 

I could feel where this was going. In contrast, I have no idea which round was it but to be in our own home without having to care of what the outside to think anymore, without feeling so little about ourselves that dating each other would be a disaster to many... it was a thrilling start, a focused path and a new beginning.

A beginning that I feel would be the most crucial part of my life because I finally know how to love someone from inside out.

- t.b.c. -