Chapter 6
"I have had the dream ever since I can remember." I began, looking down at my hands that were now enclosed in Lukes. "At first, I was scared and confused. It hurt so bad. I had never felt anything like it, never got in trouble so I wasn't used to being hit. I still remember the first night it happened, or one of the earlier ones, I... woke up I guess you could call it, in the same place as every night. Still do. It was dark, and I was cold, so incredibly cold. I started screaming, for anybody, anybody who would listen. Soon, they began to come in. That's when I really started to scream and kick and punch and bite and anything a little five year old could think of. It didn't work of course, they just hit harder and kicked harder and cut me more. They began to restrain me. Anything they could do they did. That was the same night I learned to keep my mouth shut, they always hit harder when you show emotion." I looked up, to try and help clear the image from my head. I saw all the woman were nodding at what I just said. They were all crying.
I looked at Luke, and he looked mad. Angry. Pissed. I realized this was going to be the first time he heard what had ever happened to me, he always only saw the damage. "At first, I didn't see Luke. I just... felt him and heard him." I smiled, remembering everything. These were always my favorite parts. "He would always tell me it was all right, that he was here and was sorry. God... he apologized so much. He was always sorry he couldn't stop it or get here sooner. He always healed me too. Right away, and just hold me and tell me it was ok, until I woke up. I would then wake up to find that it wasn't real that this mysterious boy who is only in my dreams wasn't real and I was really crazy. At first, I told my Mom what was happening, but I soon learned it's best to just act like nothing even happened. She stopped worrying so much after I shut up, and I got to stop talking to the shrink.
"This went on for years, at some point she married a guy named Steve. I never knew my real dad, he walked out on us. Just like Steve eventually did. He already had a son, Brandon. I was an only child. They were married for two... no it was more like three or four years. Then Mom got pregnant with Hayley. Steve left when Mom was eight and a half months along. Ditched us completely, left Brandon with us and took off. During this, a month or so after they got married, I quit sleeping. I went 144 hours at a time. Six days, I slept on Sundays then went the whole week. It was hard at first, I can't eat when I do this, because eating makes you full and being full makes you sleepy, and I try to avoid sleepy. I... I haven't slept in ruffly 130 hours. That's why I look so bad right now, usually I don't look like this and I'm not covered in blood. I promise." I said.
"Why haven't you slept?" Mark asked.
"I'm afraid to. With Luke here, I just didn't know if he would still be in my dreams. There to save me, heal me. There to give me something to look forward to. Also, my last dream was unusually painful. They don't hit so hard on a normal bases, and don't break bones. Or bring knives on me and cut every inch of skin they can see. They don't usually cuff me to a wall. Luke usually doesn't take so long to get to me." I said the last sentence barely above a whisper. I looked at Luke and he looked so guilty, so hurt and mad about what they did to me. I needed to make him feel better. So I said something I wouldn't have. "But, this has always been true, I would do it. I would take it for Luke, to see him. To talk to you," I said looking him in the eyes. "To know you're real I would do it. Take it every single night. Because you help me, yes when I'm hurt and broken, but you helped me and made me believe when no one else could. And, that means more to me than healing me every night does." I said, and could feel the tears running down my face. I can't believe I just did that, now he thinks I'm a crazy or mental. "I... I'm sorry. I... just. Don't know what came over me." I said, not looking at him and trying to pull my hands free from his.
He let me get one out but held the other. He got up and began towing me to the stairs, while calling back, "Excuse us for one moment, we need to talk." He lead me up one side of the stairs and turned right, the opposite hallway the kids were on, and walked us into the very last room on the right.
