The Goose Chronicles

Part 27

Jason had been able to get himself checked out and he was currently on his way to the nearest Wal-Mart via Uber. Bronwyn sat and twiddled her thumbs literally. A nurse had come in to check on her and she quickly yet politely rushed him out. Jason could be back at any time.

Impersonating a doctor would be tough. What if they came across other doctors and they wanted to make small Doctor talk? What if they were found out? Was doctor impersonation a big deal? Was it a crime?

And what about her nose? The ice had helped a little with the swelling, but not much. Any legitimate doctor would be able to tell that there was something wrong with it.

She kept glancing at the clock. Come on, Jason! 2:30 a.m. already. They only had a few hours. (4 hours until the sun rose and Mack got to hunting.)

She paced her room for a bit. Soon enough, the door cracked open and Jason walked in, grinning, a Wal-Mart plastic bag on his arm. He pulled out some long white coats, two lanyards, and two masks. Jason was clearly proud of the masks. His own idea to cover up their faces and Bronwyn's nose, he explained. They quickly got dressed, buttoning the coats over their civilian clothing and under their empty lanyards. She gingerly adjusted the mask to her face, wincing in pain.

"Do you need me to get you some pain pills?" Jason asked, half-joking. She laughed, and they set off down the hallways.

When one wishes to 'get away' with something, one should act as confident and nonchalant as possible while doing so. Nobody questions a man who knows, or appears to know, exactly where he is going and why.

Bronwyn and Jason were doing the exact opposite of that. They started at the slightest noises, were constantly looking behind them, and were clearly perspiring. She was wringing her hands; he was as stiff as a board. They wouldn't look more suspicious if they were carrying weapons. But thankfully, the hallways were rather empty. Or, they were, until they came across Bronwyn's Doctor Pettinati.

"Hey, how's it going?" she asked them.

"Good. Great! Ah, you know, just... doctoring around, haha." Bronwyn was nervous.

"Um... yes, me too," Jason added. The real doctor looked at them quizzically.

"Say, who are you treating?"

"Uh..." Think, Bronwyn, think! Use your mask for something! Uh, surgeons wear masks. Surgery. Surgery, yes!

"Surgery." The word tumbled slowly out of her lips. Thankfully, Jason saved her.

"We're doing surgery on a patient. It's, uh, a..." Think, Jason, think! What are some doctor terms? What do doctors say they're doing? But the only thing that came to mind was that episode of The Office. What did the guy say he had. It was a...

"Vasectomy," Jason finished. He didn't know what it meant, but apparently Doc Pettinati did. She raised her eyebrows. Jason was in deep, so the only thing to do was wade in deeper. "It's this guy's third, funny. Uh, malpractice. Yes." Bronwyn picked up.

"He's been treated for malpractice a few times already. We're hoping to get it right this time."

As you can see, they were horrible liars. The doctor shook her head and continued the interrogation.

"What university did you guys attend?"

"Yale."

"Harvard." They said this at the same time. Bronwyn saw that the doc smelled something fishy. So her brain went into panic mode.

"Cambridge, actually! They don't have a medical program but I transferred to Harvard and I got my medical school degree there!" Jason nudged and whispered to her.

"Cambridge has a medical program."

Rats. They were so busted. The doctor stood there, suspicious, arms crossed. She opened her mouth to say something. They were so done. They were caught. But before she said anything, she closed her mouth, shook her head, and walked past them.

The doctor was a smart woman. These two chuckleheads were obviously up to something. But frankly, they seemed harmless and she was too tired to deal with them.

Bronwyn and Jason looked at each other and laughed quietly. There would be time to discuss this later. They found the exit after a good half hour of wandering since Uther Hospital was totally new to them. It took another half-hour for their slow Uber driver to arrive. The roads were icy and slick, so their already-slow Uber went even slower and it took them an hour to arrive at Jensen Park.