What if

ordinary

"Ma'am?"

"Ma'am we need you to focus"

"What happened that day? What did you see?"

"Was anyone with you? Can you tell us your name?"

"Ma'am are you ok?"

Wake up

How many times does this make? The 30th, no, 40th time, woken up in a cold sweat, eyes snapped open, gasping for air; the familiar feeling of being asyphixiated returned yet again. By this time they were just taunting me, nightmares of the past not wanting to be forgotten. What day was it today? Thats right, my birthday, not that it matters to me. When was the last time I celebrated my birthday anyway, maybe 5 or 6 years ago, possibly longer, im not really counting: birthday, celebration, the words roll so easily off my tongue yet the memories vague and unfamiliar.

I miss it.

6am. My alarms going off. The blaring commotion coming from my phone alerted me almost immediately. I sat up, panting heavy as I tried to subjugate the nightmare that took over my sleep yet again. Its time to get up now, you can do it, just get up, not hard right...
My feet hung over the side of the bed, lifeless and dull, no more spring in then left to walk, no more bounce in them left to jump, their only responsibility was to get me around the house, even then they had difficulty. I hauled myself up, gripping the bed frame with a frail wrist, pushing myself upright until i was stable. Blood rushed through my head as I staggard along, the floorboards crepitated with my every leaving step, it did not bother me though: I enjoyed the acompany my house gave my leisurely awakening body, the way it spoke to me in such little words, yet made itself heard as if it were taking pity on me, providing me with companionship. Company.

I wonder what thats like.

The lights bright. The bathroom light i mean; the bulb curuscated persistently enough for me to strain my eyes, i dont know where the spare is, or is it that i dont care? lets brush our teeth.
The toothpaste feels cold, did the heating not come on this morning? Oh well, it doesn't matter. Toothbrush. Hmm.. where is it? Ah thats right, I left it in the cabinet to avoid mould. Almost- I almost have it.

Bang

"wait thats mine!"

"you have that one"

"hmph fine. hey... whats your name?"

"mine? i didn't tell you yet?"

"I'm ash"

It feels nice to be with him again, ash was his name. I cant forget it! My first friend here, I can call him a friend right? Of course I can, we came here at the same time, I guess he was taken by the other creepy men. How old is he? My age maybe? Ill ask him next time I see him, and this time I won't let him take my blue lolly pop!

The truth is we arnt really allowed to see eachother, we'll get scolded if they find out, especially the boss. Hmm what was his name again, Remember. You have to remember. Dont forget it.

Dino. Thats it! Ash calls him an old man, he's very brave. I call him sir sometimes, He likes when i do that; he pats my head and calls me his precious flower. Sometimes he says it really creepily but i have to smile. Always smile. Other wise i might get into trouble again... i don't like it when I'm in trouble.

Im not sure what happened to mother, we were shopping for our tea but she disappeared, or did i dissappear? Ah its such a blur, dumb brain you need to remember more from now on okay.
Today i get to see ash, I have lots to ask him but normally he doesn't answer. He's kinda quiet.
Dino and his creepy men leave us in the training room for 10 minutes a day to go and smoke. I can smell it on him, mother said smoking is bad, it can kill you. She smoked too.

"Ash, Ash" I run up to greet him, smiling at him as he pushed his blonde locks behind his ears. Ash was pretty.

"Ash how old are you"

"nine"

"wow you're only a year older than me! Ash how did we get here?"

"some bad men took us as payment"

"payment? what's that"

"grown up stuff"

He always answered like that. Whenever i ask too many questions he tells me it was grown up stuff. No fair i want to be a grown up to. I won't ask him any more, he's never got mad at me, but mother taught me about boundarys. I dont want to cross them. The ten minutes are almost up, I know how to read a clock now, so I always pay close attention to it. Ash gave me another lolly pop, blue my favourite: He will get in to trouble if they find out he takes candy, but as long as i don't tell anyone it will be okay. Right....

Dino looked happier than usual as he walked back in, he was holding some paper in one hand, a half finished cigar in the other. I dont like the smell, but I won't tell him that. He would get angry.

"Looks like our precious flower has her first client"

Client? Whats a client? I want to ask ash but I know not to speak to him when Dino is here. A tall man with sunglasses comes in and makes small conversation with Dino, too quite for us to hear, but he soon takes ash's arm and leads him away. I wish I could wave goodbye to him. Now its just me and Dino, im a little scared so I bite in my finger nail, a habit he disliked.

A small but firm slap struck my hand, pulsing through the rest of my arm.

"Such a pretty girl yet such a dirty habit. That won't do, not at all. We can't have you looking scruffy for Mr Park now can we?"

Whos Mr Park? I won't ask, I'll just think in my head, it's safer that way.

We go to a small room in a part of the building id never been in before, Dino didn't pass me onto one of his men like he normally does, he stayed with me. I want to bite my nail again.
The room has a big mirror right in the middle of the wall, i can see a bed in the corner reflecting from it, but no windows. Is this my new room? What was wrong with my old one though. I liked my old one, Ash was next door.

"Don't embarass me tonight, you are to do as Mr Park asks. If you do a good job you'll be rewarded"

Is he smiling again? scary.

I nod my head obediently and sit on the bed where Dino gestured. Is he going to leave? Who is Mr Park, am I supposed to do something for him? its ok, if I do a good job I get rewarded like Dino said, I might even get pudding!

Dino left the room 40 minutes ago. Its kinda cold in here, i wish I could get under the bed... but i wasn't told to do that. I have to sit here and wait.

20 minutes later

The door opened with a clack, but it wasn't Dino coming back. It was a face I had not seen before, was this Mr Park? I smile sweetly at him, sliding off the bed followed by a small curtsey; this is what they call etiquette, but I find it hard to say.

"Ah such a pretty petal, They've trained you nicely havnt they. Lets see what you've got sunshine"

Whats he talking about

He keeps coming closer and closer, im pushed again the bed. I cant move anymore. I want ash. I miss ash.

"No need to be scared. Just be a good girl"

He smiles at me. An ugly smile, I dont like it, I want to bite my nail.

he took off his hat, his tie and his shirt. Im frozen. He was staring right at me, his hand cupping my cheek. Im not allowed to cry, ill get punished. Just keep smiling. Always smile.

He started to take of his belt, the sound of metal clicking together.

He dropped his belt onto the floor

Bang

Shit, i dropped my toothbrush