Return My Love || (Hashirama x OC) [ABANDONED]

Chapter 14

Kirai's POV

For many years, the Uchiha and the Senju constantly battled with each other day after day... Every year, I would watch as Hashirama grew stronger and stronger to the point I cannot seem to follow his path or stand beside him. He was too strong, a prodigy. Despite it all, I grew stronger than most men are.

However, my life remains unchanging for I am still treated lowly, lower than garbage itself. All those years, I keep asking myself, "What is wrong with me?"

What makes them hate me? Why am I always hated? Why am I not doing anything to remove those hate?

Ah yes... It still hurt. I have fought side by side with the Senju. I was declared a comrade in battle, but not a friend inside the compound. I am hailed as the fiercest and unwavering wall, one that remains loyal, strong, and courageous. But deep inside, no one acknowledges me for who I am. To them, I am only a weapon, used and weaved by Hashirama Senju. To Hashirama, he sees me as his friend and a comrade, and he always sees me smile every time with him. But he never sees my pain, he never sees how his clansmen treated me, and he never sees the truth behind my smile.

And the thing is, I never let him see it. I never let him see the negativity that has been surrounding me, that seemed to wrap me close. I never allowed him. Hashirama is too... sunny, and bright, and too lovely to see the sadness in my heart. Even though he had faced hell many times in battle, all he needs to witness is those kinds of negativity and not the negativity in my heart.

Hashirama has enough to deal with. His dying comrades, the loss of his friends and his brothers, the stress of being the next clan head, the main lead of this mighty clan to war, his members looking up to him, multiple of meetings to form a strategy for the battle, helping his clansmen, using his everything such as his mind, body, and soul. Hashirama had so many things to deal with already, I do not want him to worry about me. That is why I smile...

He has too many things on his plate, I do not wish to be a part of it. He already has enough stress to carry the pressure, and the feelings he has to hold. I am only a certain someone he made friends with, I am only a pebble that does not need to seek aid or comfort.

As I grew up, I realized that this is my way to protect him, to ease the pain and other feelings that he has built up within himself. I do not want to add myself in his list to take care of. That is why I bottle up my feelings... the pain, the sadness, the hurt, the guilt, the pity, and everything... I need to hide those from him to at least make him smile. I never want him to see him frowning.

For many years, this continued. Until Hashirama became the clan head of the Senju, and Madara became the clan head of the Uchiha. I was one of the strongest people from the Senju, but I am only a tool used by the Senju. Hashirama did not know that, but he thinks my loyalty and my determination to win is what makes him think that I am less of a tool and more of a comrade. Yet I do not see myself as that when other clansmen of the Senju are using me...

The Uchiha and the Senju faced each other, eye to eye. Hashirama spoke first, "It has been many years that we continue to fight each other, it feels like yesterday when we both skipped rocks in the river unaware of our identity to each other." He tilted his head lower, but his eyes never left the Uchiha in the middle. "What I meant to say is that it is not too late..." He trailed off, not continuing any further. This makes others confused about what he is trying to say, but I understand it the most. Hashirama is still trying to make him agree for peace, to reach that dream of theirs and end this war.

But Madara only chuckled deeply, "Indeed it has been many years, yet you have not yet given up that hope you continue to cherish in your heart. And all those years, I constantly repeat those same words to you as my refusal: Shut up!"