Let me tell you something about Noel Kahn: he throws AMAZING parties. It's always good to have a best friend like that. Free drinks and an amazing time is always fun. It would be more fun if my dorky "friends" weren't here with me.
Let's start with Aria. She's short, midget short but fairly attractive..to some guys in the right lighting. Massive crush on Noel. Artsy dork and gets way too excited most of the time. On her own she'd be eating lunch alone in the bathroom.
Hanna Marin. Oh hefty Hanna, always eating her feelings. I'm hoping with my help we will start to see progress with that little, well big, problem. She's shy and no one knows who she even is. 'Hanna who?' They'll ask and only know when I say hefty. She'd probably be bullied into homeschooling if I didn't take her under my wing. In love with Sean Ackard.
Emily fields, secret lesbian. Massive crush on me naturally. I probably turned her gay by walking passed her. She is a pretty good person to have around cause she follows me like a puppy and when I say jump she asks how high. She's a swimming geek, always in the water. I saved her from hanging with people like pig skin, but that's a whole other story.
Spencer Hastings. The biggest nerd ever. She'd be much prettier if she didn't have her face constantly in a book. She studies 24/7 and doesn't know how to have fun. However, she is a Hastings and Melissa Hastings (biggest bitch) her sister left a good impression for the Hastings name so Spencer would be okay without me..I have to be careful with that one.
So imagine those dorks at a Kahn party. There's drugs and alcohol everywhere you turn and people are having sex on the couch. Uptight Spencer Hastings was asked to join in an orgy outside. That was a good one. She was horrified, I don't think I've laughed that hard in a long time.
Noel and his brother Eric never disappoint with their parties.
"Ali..what do we even do?"
"Can we leave please"
"I'm scared"
"This is ridiculous"
I just laugh and leave them to do what dorks do at parties. Probably cry in the corner trying to call their mommies to pick them up. Their loss. I was going to have fun tonight.
